Perhaps the most asinine thing about baseball public relations is the insistence on selling every piece of flaming garbage like they are the second coming of [insert name of great player at flaming garbage's position]. But even the people who are neck-deep in making the Royals leftover bags of lawn clippings look good have to occasionally look at what they write and shrug their shoulders. I hope that is what Dick Kaegal is doing about this little gem from Royals.com

[Getz] is hitting the ball with more authority this spring, although his average is .250 with one double.

That is one of the most baffling statements I have ever read. It really confounded me and took me aback.

So, I have done the only thing I could do: I came up with some real-world examples, and I encourage you to do the same thing in the comments below:

• He flips those burgers with some authority, although every fourth patty ends up on the floor.
• He collates his presentations well, although they are only one page long with poor grammar.
• He knows how to handle his liquor, although after one shot he ends up face down in a pool of vomit.
• He aims his gun well, although he has shot himself thirty-seven times.
• He knows how to throw the ball, although he uses his foot and has to stand on his head.
• He works well with others, although he will murder every single one of them.
• He really knows how to make the ladies swoon, although he uses rohypnol and lies to them.
  
• He is very good with his emotions, although he spontaneously cries over the color blue.
• He will never let you down, although he will never be there for you either.
• He has the respect of his peers, although they bludgeoned him to death with his own shoes.