On Easter Sunday, Royals, Son of God prevail

April 8, 2012; Anaheim, CA, USA; Kansas City Royals catcher Humberto Quintero (33) feels the light of the Lord pass through him courtesy of his teammate, The Son of God, Eric Hosmer. Mandatory Credit: Jayne Kamin-Oncea-US PRESSWIRE

Despite the biblical nature of their name, God was not on the side of Angels of Anaheim which is in the general vicinity of Los Angeles. On this day, He shone his light on the Kansas City Royals, the ball club on which His Son mans first base.

The Son of God, who had risen once before in epic fashion on this day, used his mighty staff to drive the laced ball hither and yon, in and out of the ballpark. This marked the second straight game in which Eric Hosmer, the Messiah, extended his herculean arms and with a mammoth crack of the bat sent a ball screaming from the confines of the field of play.

Hosmer and the skilled batsman who follows him in the line-up, one William Ray Butler, each socked vital dingers en route to driving three runs apiece across the plate. Betwixt the two, they went four-for-eight, totaling four runs, half a dozen runs batted in, with Butler drawing a base on balls, and Hosmer stealing a base. Both of Billy Butler's hits went for multiple bases, recording a double to go along with his home run that Hosmer himself willed to miss the perilously close glove of Peter Bourjos, whose outstretched arm nearly corralled young Butler's four-baser.

Jesus Hosmer Christ also saw fit to allow the hurlers from the Royals to escape from Anaheim--a town likely somewhere near Galilee--without relinquishing the lead that he had established with the first inning run that he drove in. While Hosmer worked many miracles this afternoon, he was not able to will Jonathan Sanchez's pitches into the strike zone enough to get Sanchez into the sixth inning. Thankfully for a slew of followers tens of hundreds of miles east, Hosmer ensured the Royals a victory.

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