Royals Lose Again, [Insert Score], on (choose one) Bad Start/Relief Effort/Defensive Miscue by [Insert Player(s)]
Well, not much to say about this one. The Royals lost today/tonight on yet another [Copy from above] despite having a good showing from [insert one player who performed well. If none, then omit]. Alas, it was not enough, as the mighty [insert antiquated name of team] of [insert opposing team's city] managed to take advantage of [insert bad thing that happened]. Really, it's the same old song and dance for this team. They don't have the pitching to get it done, especially when the offense/defense doesn't show up/performs poorly.
Ned Yost made another peculiar move this game, bringing in [insert name of reliever] to face [insert name of same-handed hitter] only to leave him in to face [insert name of off-handed hitter]. Of course, that didn't pan out too well, as the [off-handed hitter] smoked a [insert hit type] that plated [insert number of runs], thus sealing the game.
The bright spots on this team are few and far between, with the recent struggles of [insert starting pitcher], who just can't seem to find the strike zone anymore. And when he does, it scarcely matters, as the ball is usually deposited beyond the outfield wall. [Insert name of hitter] continues to struggle at the plate, hitting [insert triple slash]. The Royals policy on which players receive the healing powers of the "day off to work with Seitzer" treatment and the ones who are left (almost begrudgingly) in the lineup to fend for themselves remains a mystery.
[Insert name of hitter] continues to rend the ball with wooden bat, even as his fellow base-mates struggle with the lauded, almost mythical ability to hit the ball out of the infield.
As the [insert name of author] penned, "[insert quote from said author]." Perhaps we can find comfort in that, because we clearly won't find any in this team.