Before tonight's game, Billy Butler approached Luis Mendoza, bag in hand.

"What's that awful smell?" asked Luis.

Billy opened the bag and produced a Doritos Locos Tacos Supreme, still steaming from the microwave.

"Try it, its Mexican food," smiled Billy.

Luis cautiously bit into the neon-orange shell. As the cheese dust fell onto his taste buds, Luis could feel his heart palpatating, his palms sweating, and his eyes bulging.

"What have you done to me? How can you call this Mexican food?"

"I have $11 worth of this stuff in this bag if you want to enhance your performance tonight."

"Enhance?"

"Sure," replied Billy. "This stuff keeps me up during the long season. Sometimes you need a pick me up. Sometimes....you have to live mas!"

"Ay, diablo!" shouted Luis as he threw the taco down in disgust.

****

As Luis walked off the mound, eight solid innings under his belt, the best performance of his career, he thought about the bag Billy had brought him. It was still sitting in his locker. Luis did not want to cut corners, but he did not want to go back to his hometown of Veracruz a loser. He sighed as he envisioned putting more of that foul stench into his gullet. He knew what he had to do.

Other game notes:

• Yuniesky has 22 RBI this month, which means he's red hot, not the guy he's hitting behind - Alex Gordon.
• The Twins wanted nothing to do with Billy Butler after his first inning RBI single, walking him three times, once intentionally.
• Salvy hung oppage dong and emitted a powerful Perezence.
• The last time Jeff Francoeur got a hit, Tom Cruise was still married to Katie Holmes. He's 5 for his last 33 (.152) and is hitting .219/.232./292 for the month.
• Broxton now leads the league in "fans crapping their pants" moments with 16.
• Doubleheader tomorrow with a rested pen, and Tommy Hottovy on his way (rosters can expand to 26 for doubleheaders). The Twins burned through six pitchers as if they could just find soft-tossers just anywhere off the street. But that's the way you play the game THE RIGHT WAY.