Weird - ever have a dream seem so real, when you woke, you checked the headlines in the news....
Dateline Kansas City. In an attempt to salvage the 2012 season that has spiraled out of control, owner David Glass has replaced the well-respected general manager Dayton Moore with Mr. Sports Blogger, known as Sporty to his close associates (known as asses to Sporty). Sporty's connection to the Royals was being in the same draft class as Slugger, rooming together in low-A wiffle ball before Slugger's call-up to the show.
In addition to Slugger's enthusiastic and animated endorsement, Glass mentioned Sporty's penchant for working nights, decisive nature and salary demand of unlimited day-old concessions being perfectly aligned with the direction of the team.
During the press conference announcing his appointment as the top hot dog in the ballpark, Sporty declared his singular focus was to salvage what he could of the 2012 season from the air-conditioned suite overlooking the first base dugout.
The decisive Sporty immediately announced that Slugger was promoted to Director of Player Development with primary responsibility for the talent playing at the Little K.
Details on additional player moves were released in a series of press releases to the press.
-Second base: release Yuni, make Falu the infield backup, give Getz the starting job, add Gio to the list of players available for trade. Done.
-Right field: first, snag a couple XL Frenchy Quarter t-shirts, then add Frenchy to the trade list. Call up Wil Myers and show him how to attach $100 bills to baseballs. Done.
-Bullpen: add Broxton to the trade list, install Holland as the closer, buy stock in an energy drink company. Done.
-Rotation: for the rest of 2012, stick with Chen, Hochevar and Mendoza, then rotate the six guys in this list thru the two remaining spots in the rotation: Teaford, Mazzarro, Verdugo, Adcock, Smith, Odorizzi. With about 70 games remaining, that would be 14 times thru the rotation, giving each guy four starts. As per team policy, the guy with the best ERA will have Tommy John surgery in the off-season.
-Off-season: using guys on the trade list, combined with prospects having an ETA of 2013/2014, trade for two starters in the off-season that have at least three years of control left, with at least one guy who can fix my mini-fridge in the suite when stuff happens, because, you know, stuff happens.
Weird - the other part of my dream involving Kate Upton apparently didn't happen either - they seemed so real.
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