If you are reading this, rejoice. You survived the nuclear winter that is the SB Nation redesign. Many of our brethren did not make it ... it took me days just to find you. Our numbers may have dwindled, but I've been assured by the SB Nation
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Several Royals are in line to reach new milestones and millstones this upcoming year, as they waltz to their first playoff appearance since the year VH1 debuted and Guatemala adopted a constitution.
Alex Gordon hits his 100th homer, Eric Hosmer and Jeff Francoeur get their 50th as Royals - None of these are locks. Gordon needs 18. His career high is 23 in 2011, but that's the only time he's topped 16 in a season. Hosmer needs 17, Frenchy 14.
Chris Getz smacks his first home run for the Royals - He's due. Currently averaging a moonshot once every 2-1/2 years in the bigs, Getzy is sure to crack the Kauffman code this year. When he does, he'll join established hitting legends such as Rudy Law and Zackkk Greinke. Jarrod Dyson, who already has one, will not let Getz take 268th place in team history easily, though.
Luke Hochevar lasers into the top 10 in losses - With three more, Hoch will stumble past Charlie Liebrandt and lock up the 10th most losses in Royals' history with 62. Next in line is Greinke, with 67. If that doesn't make you question this franchise, consider that Luke has started the 14th most games in club history and is 18th in innings pitched. It's OK to cry. No one is judging you here.
Greg Holland strikes out his 250th batter - The Dutchman has 188 right now. He sat down 91 this past year and 74 in 2011, so asking him to get 62 is a modest projection. He should break into the top 40 all-time in Ks, challenging Bill Butler - not Country Breakfast, just an average Bill - who had 263 for Kansas City.
Billy gets 1,000 hits, 500 RBI and 250 doubles - Butler is actually on pace for some prestigious franchise numbers. He has 956 hits, so pegging him for 144 - a light number by his standards - he'll shatter 1,000 and likely take seventh place all-time from Joe Randa. He's got a little ways to catch Mike Sweeney, who's sixth with 1,398. After that, everyone in the top five has at least 1,900. Butler needs an easy 20 RBIs for 500, and should flirt with 250 doubles, needing 33.
Francoeur delivers his 20,000th nad tap - Already the MLB record holder, the Frenchman is nearing unbreakable territory. There is a simple formula:
( ABs x 1 ) + ( POs x 2 ) + ( BBs x 3 ) + ( RBIzzzz x 8 ) + ( HRs x 26 ) = nadtaps
It works out like this - the last person to bat gets a nad tap. That's one. For every put out, every other outfielder gets tapped. That's x2. Walks get a nad tap for the first baseman, the first base coach and Francoeur himself - he hates walking, so it's a form of punishment. RBIs are a crapshoot - Frenchy finds eight people, no matter what. Home runs mean nad taps for every last player on the Royals bench, plus the opposing pitcher and catcher. Right now, Frenchy has handed out 17,767 'taps.
James Shields, Ervin Santana pick up career win 100 - In a vacuum, completely ignorant of the costs to make it happen, I'm stoked Shields is pitching for the Royals. Barring Jeff Zimmerman's voodoo curse, Shields could score the 13 wins he needs to hit the century mark. In four of the past five seasons (granted, with a better ballclub), Shields has notched at least 13 wins. Santana needs only four wins to reach the milestone.
Alcides Escobar steals his 100th career base - Making this list is making me sad. Did you know Jarrod Dyson is already in the top 25 in Royals' history in steals? Jeff Francoeur is in the top 50. He has 26. Anyway, Esky needs 25 to get to 100. If he has a gritty year on the basepaths, he has a long shot chance at swiping 100 in his Royals' career. He has 61 now. He had 35 in 2012. It would be a career high for him in MLB, but it is feasible.
Ned Yost coaches his 200th win at the helm of the Royals - You're gosh dang right he does. He needs two. Heck, with this assemblage of talent, he'll probably get to 300 this year. Plaza. Parade.