Half of the club will play this afternoon against their expansion brothers, the San Diego Padres. This is a rivalry so intense, two of the clubs from that expansion quartet DON'T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE! A quick pour for our dead homies - the Pilots and Expos.

The lineup versus "A Whale's Vagina"

LF Endy Chavez

2B Johnny Giavotella

RF David Lough

1B Billy Butler

CF Lorenzo Cain

DH Max Ramirez

3B Brandon Wood

C George Kottaras

SS Christian Colon

P Will Smith

Looks like the big guns are playing under the lights against the Dodgers tonight

LF Gordy

2B Getzie

3B Moosey

RF Frenchy

SS Elliot Johnsony

1B Antony Seratelli-ey

C Brett Hayesey

DH Wily Taverasy

CF Dysoney

P Yordano Ventura-ey

Here's your Esky update:

#Royals SS Alcides Escobar (back spasms) going through limited drills today and full drills tomorrow. Could start Sunday or Monday.

— Bob Dutton (@Royals_Report) March 15, 2013

Wade Davis pitches today in a minor league game, so I'm sure he's 100% fine and there is no reason to ever again worry about him.

Stay classy in this thread.