FanPost

Royals Highlights in the style of the King James Version - June 17, 2012


Just having some fun with some of the highlights from last season as we head to opening day. This isn't meant as some religious symbolism or anything like that, it's just written in the style of the King James Version.

1 And lo, it was upon the seventeenth day of the sixth month during the year of the reign of the Birds of Crimson as champions over the world, that the Royals of Kansas City did face the Birds of Crimson in their nest in St. Louis. And it was the top of the ninth inning, that the Royals of Kansas City were behind two to one to the St. Louis Birds of Crimson, and they were sore vexed.

2 Upon that inning, with the score as it were, that the Birds of Crimson did call unto the bullpen for relief, and, upon that day did Motte appear to complete the victory.

3 Motte, with his powerful ball of speed, did ascend to the high hill of pitching, and did proceed to strike out Moustakas, and, to wit, Escobar.

4 Yost was very troubled, and sore vexed within his loins. And with a moan did Yost cry out, and hearken unto Billy, whose surname was Butler, to rescue the club.

5 And Billy, upon hearing his name did rise, and gather about him his bat and his gloves, to take the place of Quintero before Motte, and to challenge his violent ball of speed.

6 Now Butler was a mighty man of Kansas City, and was even considered to be a Star of All. Yet, amongst the riotous people did he gain no favor, for the people were decked in their Crimson, and in their pride did consider themselves to be the greatest supporters in the world, and they did pay no respect to the mighty man of Kansas City.

7 And down on Butler did they rain taunts of wrath and anger, yet Butler took no notice, but stood before Motte forhis throws.

8 Motte threw, and striketh once, nay, twice with his ball of speed.

9 Butler, and all of his friends in blue with him, were down to the final strike.

10 The throng arose with taunts louder still upon Butler, who stood before Motte still mighty in his place, awaiting the throw.

11 Motte threw and lo, Butler took a mighty swing, as one would swing to fell a great tree, and smote the ball of speed with great and glorious venegence for him, and for all of the Royals of Kansas City.

12 With great speed and arc did the ball fly, about the space of 285 cubits, and didst land beyond the wall.

13 And Butler scored.

14 The people fell silent and were gripped with fear, save those in blue, for they knew that extra innings had drawn nigh.

15 And the Birds of crimson were sore vexed with tribulations and gnashing of teeth, but the hearts of the Royals did revive, and hope yet again.

This FanPost was written by a member of the Royals Review community. It does not necessarily reflect the views of the editors and writers of this site.

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