Royals Able to Turn on Offense Like a Switch, Easily Beat Rays 7-2

Al Messerschmidt

George Brett has given this team more confidence!

The Kansas City Royals had five innings tonight where they went 1-2-3 in order without even a whiff of an offensive threat. But in the other four innings they were a wrecking ball, scoring in three of them, and ending with seven runs on ten hits in a 7-2 win over Tampa Bay.

The obvious answer is that George Brett radiates confidence, which is allowing Royals hitters to loosen up and hit the baseball. We had our crack scientists here at Royals Review break down how George's confidence works. You see, the confidence gland in the George Brett remains dormant for several innings. It is only when the George Brett becomes agitated - say when an umpire calls him out on a technicality in regards to pine tar - that the confidence gland emits a powerful pheromone that induces young impressionable Major League hitters into a hallucinogenic haze that somehow allows them to sharpen their focus and hit sliders.

The George Brett confidence gland was in effect in the first inning, when the Royals produced a run. But then it shut down as Eric Hosmer made a stupid baserunning gaffe and the next ten hitters were retired. Again in the fifth, it emitted a powerful fog of confidence that enabled Elliot Johnson of all people to triple into the left-field corner. That would kickstart a four-run inning, giving the Royals a 5-2 lead.

For good measure, George emitted confidence in the ninth (when the George Brett gland is typically in its peak form). Sal Perez and Billy Butler each confidently added RBI because George Brett wanted it that way.

Other notes:

  • Eric Hosmer pulled a ball and doubled. This seems like cause for celebration.
  • Jeff Francoeur walked. This seems like cause for celebration.
  • Billy Butler had three RBI. He had been scuffling a bit, but he collected two hits tonight. He hadn't had a multi-RBI game since May 15 against the Angels.
  • Elliot Johnson loves playing against his old team. He had two more hits tonight, stole his tenth base of the year, and was pretty animated after hitting his triple.
  • Luis Mendoza gave up a home run on the third pitch of the game, and was down 2-1 after the first inning. He threw five shutout innings after that. Its probably time to consider him the #4 starter with Wade Davis the one fighting to keep his rotation spot, if you weren't thinking that already.
  • Mike Moustakas is apparently now a defensive replacement. Process vindicated.
  • Kelvin Herrera was pretty wild, but then George Brett fixed him somehow.
  • The Royals have won 9 of 10 and can reach .500 again tomorrow. Its like I don't even know who they are anymore.
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