Royals Look to Topple The Racists In A Tuesday Tilt For The Ages

Alex Gordon tries to shimmy and shake the Racists away to no avail. - David Richard-USA TODAY Sports

The Kansas City Nine travels to Cleveland in an attempt to send the Racists running into the hills. Can the Royals usher us into a post-Racial world?

With five games left in the season series between Kansas City and Cleveland, the Racists have a four-game advantage over the Royals, and it isn't hard to look at Cleveland's 9 - 5 record against the Royals and wonder where the Royals might be if they'd been able to take care of the Racists in the same way that they have with the Tigers thus far this season. Of course, the Royals' run differential against the Racists--51 RS, 64 RA--is actually just three runs worse than their run differential versus the Tigers--54 RS, 64 RA--despite the fact that the Royals sport a 9 - 7 record against the division leaders. I guess that's just baseball--well, that and a 16 - 2 shellacking radically affecting a head-to-head run differential.

With time running out on the 2013 season, the Royals will have to win out against Cleveland if there is any hope for them to thwart Racism.

In this second game of a three-game series with Wild Card statuses on the line for each team, the intradivisional quasi-rivals will turn to pitchers of a rather pedestrian nature. The visiting Royals will send The 25-Million-Dollar Man, Jeremy Guthrie to the mound, while the Racists will send the slightly less unimpressive Zach McAllister.

Guthrie is currently struggling to provide his team with adequate value in terms of WAR, and this is the one cheap year on Guthrie's three-year deal. Apparently it's difficult for a starting pitcher to be of value while producing a scant 1.0 fWAR while striking out 4.87 per nine innings while walking 2.68.

For his part, McAllister has been worth 1.4 fWAR in 113.1 IP with a 6.99 K/9 and a 3.26 BB/9. Unlike Guthrie, McAllister is just slightly below average. Of course, McAllister is still making league minimum to be a slightly below average starting pitcher.

More importantly, McAllister is a Racist, and everyone knows that Racists are the worst.

Down with the Racists!

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