And so it begins!
Royals pitchers and catchers will make their way to Surprise, Arizona today (no doubt in the Best Shape of Their Life), where a stoic Ned Yost will stand with his coaching staff at the ballpark as the ballplayers walk in.
ASSISTANT COACH DALE SVEUM: That looks like Brad Penny.
NED YOST: He was an All-Star in Los Angeles, wasn't he?
SVEUM: Wish we had him seven years ago.
YOST: Who's that?
DAYTON MOORE: Norichika Aoki. Came from Japan. Wanted religious freedom.
YOST: What's his religion?
SVEUM [as a Rolls Royce pulls up]: I thought you didn't have any high-priced talent.
MOORE: Forgot about Wade Davis because he's only high-priced. Got him in a trade a year ago.
SVEUM: Still a pretty good reliever isn't he?
MOORE: Yea, but he can't start worth a lick.
SVEUM: Look at this $%^&ing guy.
[Jason Vargas walks in sporting a radical biker haircut]
SVEUM: Maybe he's the mascot.
YOST: This is my kinda team Dale. My kinda team!
Four Questions in the Best Shape of Their Lives:
1. Any Valentine's Day plans? Any of them actually involve a real live woman?
2. What Royals player do you think most needs to have a good spring training?
3. When were you in the Best Shape of Your Life?
4. Bob Uecker says "Major League 4" is in the works. Pitch me some ideas for a plot.
BONER: The Winter Olympian you would most like to spend a romantic Valentine's Day with is....
BONER 2: We just booked a trip to the Tampa area during spring training. I'd like to duck out and at least catch one game. Any tips for how to enjoy a spring training game?