#NeverBeRoyal: The Walkout Songs

Ed Zurga

David Glass needs to sell more tickets. With payroll at an all-time high, he is forced to get creative in the marketing department to attract fans, both old and new, to home games at the K. In the past, the Royals employed such gimmicks as a dilapidated country tune for the 7th inning stretch, dangerous (perhaps deadly?) hotdog cannons, condiment races, and other such nonsense. Glass and Co. have a new idea, but they require some assistance.

Let's face it, if we at RR are known for anything, it is for our prowess at EA Sports' MVP Baseball series (RIP 2007). Unquestionably, the most enjoyable aspect of these games (or any sports game, for that matter) was the "create a player" mode, in which the user could edit seemingly any baseball (and even non-baseball) characteristic. Some of my most memorable gaming experiences involved creating a player who dominated in every facet of the game, often resulting in wildly sadistic contests such as this (I highly recommend this series of articles, by the way). Included in this mode was the ability to choose your player's entrance music, which would be played over the PA of the virtual stadium as your batter approached the plate. At the time, this feature was unprecedented, as it allowed the user to access songs stored on the hard drive of the console, and being a music junkie as a child and teenager, gave me the opportunity to perfectly match player and song.

All this being said, David Glass is tired of hearing Alcides Escobar's reggaeton, because, let's face it, it's freaking annoying. In fact, almost the entire roster's player music is filled with a load of junk that none of us really want to hear at the ballpark. Thus, Glass turns to us at RR to fix the issue.

We need to choose an entrance song for each player on the 25 man roster. Please feel the weightiness of this endeavor - Mariano Rivera was made famous by his tune, as was Chris Getz - which was probably the best thing he ever did as a Royal. Some things to consider when choosing a song:

1. Region of origin of both player and tune. But seriously, I don't care where you're from, no more reggaeton.

2. Physical characteristics of the player (I mean, have you seen Salvy's hips? They don't lie).

3. RR memes (James Shields got back).

4. Baseball characteristics (for instance, Tim Collins' choice of God's Gonna Cut You Down seems apt).

I think we're an eclectic and well-rounded enough bunch to come up with some good choices. Let's see what you got. Feel free to post links to videos or MP3s, and there are bonus points for directing us to a specific interval within the song (like 0:30 - 0:47, for example).

To start us off, I'll submit Tim by The Downtown Struts, for use by Tim Collins. I already mentioned that I somewhat liked Collin's choice, but I really just want to post this song, because I think it rules. Although, now that I think about it, the lyrics, "One more around that block, ya that's what Timmy said, said it's all right," seem to insinuate that Collins is ambivalent toward allowing home runs. Oh well.

This FanPost was written by a member of the Royals Review community. It does not necessarily reflect the views of the editors and writers of this site.

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