So checked the standings this morning
Been here, done that.
I must admit though, it did give me a bout of inspiration...
With no further delay, todays ode to the Kansas City Royals
Hello dead-last, my old friend,
I’ve come to dwell in you again.
Because a groundout softly creeping,
Is the norm with Escobar swinging.
And the doubts that were dwelling in my brain
With the swings of suckiness.
For thirty years we tanked alone,
Never a single playoff bone.
Neath the halo of our new all-in,
I checked the broadcast expecting a win,
Edge of my throne, eyes stabbed by the flash of
A familiar sight,
Moose popped to right.
Ball touched, but swings of suckiness.
And as Rex blabbered I merely saw
Occasional singles, nothing more.
People swinging without connecting,
Peoples contact, yard not leaving,
People singing praise that production wouldn’t share
Yet Ned never dared
Bench the swings of suckiness.
Fools said I, you do not know,
Suckiness like a cancer grows.
Check the stats that I might teach you,
Fangraphs has them as to maybe reach you.
But denial like bombs off Chen fell,
In the origination of suckiness
And people chewed cookies, drank milk and prayed
To the Dayton God they made.
As kids flamed we had warnings
In the Four-A careers they were forming.
Still are said the words of the prophets
They’ll all get better; curse!
I never say it can’t get worse.
As displayed by the swings of suckiness.
Now Royals, please try to win one for us today, okay? ...It might mean we can tie another set of losers for this spot, and wouldn't that be grand!