FanPost

TOKEN ROYALS WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP LISTICLE


Let it be remembered that in the year of our Yost 1738 that the Royals won the World Series. That being said, there are certain truths that the author cannot ignore:

1.) With their victory the Royals became the first team to win the World Series since 2014.

2.) Depending on your census leanings Kansas City being the 29th or the 37th largest city beating the nation’s largest city.

3.) Prior to the series Kansas City was noted by a New York television station for being a bastion of barbecue, birthplace of happy meals and ignored prohibition.

4.)While scanning for celebrity Mets’ fans the camera was quick to pounce on hilarious funny men Jerry Seinfield and Chris Rock.

5.) While scanning for celebrity Royals’ fans the camera was quick to pounce on a dude in a Jason mask pumping his fist and photoshopped images of Paul Rudd when necessary.

6.) Numerous Kansas City children being both conceived and named after Royals on the same night.

7.) Numerous Kansas City barbers now being well versed in the Rusty Kuntz look.

8.) The author, not forsaking the present bliss, the uncommon shock of joy still fresh, but having remembered the pre-Wild Card Era.

9.) Standing in the rain waiting and desperate for a Bob Hamelin autograph.

10.) Entire sections of the stadium sun-soaked and bare boned for a blur of seasons.

11.) Lamenting the loss of left field general admission seats. A great place for introverts and Yamil Benitez to hide.

12.) Jeff King, wearing jeans at press conference, sharing his excitement on joining the Royals.

13.) A young Zachary Donald Grienke, lone jewel of the Allard Baird era, wandering the streets of Toronto grappling with Tony Pena’s sudden and inexplicable departure from the team.

14.) The author remembering the promise of Johnny Damon. Johnny Damon was destined to wear rings.

15.) Talking about Jose Guillen’s raw power, several years after he left the Royals.

16.) Bo Jackson everywhere. Bo Jackson running up walls. Bo Jackson cracking bats over his thighs like pine wishbones. Until of course Bo Jackson’s Achilles’ heel is revealed to be a hip.

17.) Scott Elarton anchoring a pitching staff.

18.) 2006 All-Star Mark Redman finishes year with a 5.71 ERA.

19.) Royals’ fans spend 2014 singing Journey song. Turns out lead singer for Journey is a huge Giants fan.

20.) Sluggerrr/hot dog cannon lawsuit.

21.) And yet the author, and countless others, remembering and discovering bizarre forms of hope along the way.

22.) Rany posting 8,000 words on Mark Teahen.

23.) Mike Sweeney shows up to spring training in the best shape of his life.

24.) Kila Ka’aihue is a true OBP monster.

25.) The author goes to New York to see the Royals face the Yankees. The author predicts a pitcher’s duel. Jeremy Guthrie doesn’t have his best stuff. Jeremy Guthrie has arguable the worst start in the history of pitching but Jarrod Dyson showcases sparkling glove work as a defensive replacement.

26.) Jarrod Dyson being a 50th round draft pick from McComb, Mississippi. Jarrod Dyson being what Bill James calls the fastest player in the game.

27.) The author recognizing the rise of Dyson as a potential corollary with the improbability of the Royals’ rise to prominence. The author also recognizing Dyson as arguably the coolest fourth/fifth outfielder in the history of the game. Pointing towards Dyson’s stealing of third in the 2014 Wild Card as evidence. Constantly watching and re-watching the play to see if it actually happened the way memory performed it. The author still not certain, but fairly certain that Dyson stole second in the deciding game of the 2015 World Series.

28.) Providing a good opportunity to ask if we, "the Royal we" won the 2015 World Series. And if the cascading memories that linked the moment with a certain depth of field, the relationship between the fan, and the game, and the team being loosened from its role as a proxy for vicarious fulfillment and giving way to another experience. Basically, it’s been cool to transition from a select group of fans super stoked on Emil Brown’s BABIP to see all the things I love about the game be carried and enjoyed by a whole city.

29.) Twenty-nine years being a really long time in non dog years. And for most trees.

30.) But if the cost of indefatigable bliss is a thirty year wait between World Series rings, I will gladly stuff banana peels in the flux capacitor for thirty more years, if it means one more ride in the World Series Delorean.

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This FanPost was written by a member of the Royals Review community. It does not necessarily reflect the views of the editors and writers of this site.