Royals Game Recaps

Royals Lose to Laughably Bad Mariners, Are Laughable Worse.

Royals Lose to Laughably Bad Mariners, Are Laughable Worse. The Royals managed two hits tonight. Scratch that. Billy Butler managed two hits tonight. The rest of the Royals were shut down by Jason Vargas for eight innings.

Royals Turn Back The Clock To 2009 In Another Loss

An examination of Jeff Francoeur's three strikeout, one home run day. In graphical form.

Royals Lose. Again. World Is Shocked.

The Royals got shut down by Roger Clemens and the New York Yankees today, by the score of 9 - 2. For his part, Royals hurler Odalis Perez went seven innings. They weren't seven good innings, but...

Royals Lose Predictably to Twins

It's hard to re-imagine what the landscape in Hollywood was like in 1986, but Eddie Murphy was on top of the world. That is, in part, what makes The Golden Child such a weird film. The Golden Child...

This Just In: Jonathan Sanchez May Not Be Good At Throwing Baseballs

When The Sanchize was brought into town, it was assumed that he'd win the first of ten straight AL Cy Young Awards in a Royals uniform. Now people are whispering that it might not happen. I'm befuddled. You're befuddled. Even your mother is befuddled

Evil Pale Hoes Defeat The Royals While Kansas Citians Search For Answers

The Royals give up the second of three in this home series against the loathsome and undeniably evil Pale Hoes. All measured, reasonable thought is abandoned as fans look for answers.

Royals Get Swept By Tigers, Run Risk of Being 10.5 Back At The Break

So much for being competitive at the break. The Royals tailspin heading into the All-Star Break that they are hosting is complete. They have now lost eight of their last ten games, losing three...

Royals Offense Geysers All Over Toronto

Led by, well, the offense, the Royals meted out justice--American style--on those dastardly Canucks that call Toronto home. Spearheaded by the bottom of the order, Salvador Perez ripped four hits,...

Royals Wallop Jays, Canadians Weep Into Their Tuxedo Sleeves

As if they knew that we all needed a palate cleanser after a dreadful series in Minnesota, the Royals scored early and often en route to an 11 - 3 drubbing of the Toronto nine. After falling behind...

Flailing Royals Implode in Minnesota

Any attempt to describe this game without a stream of expletives and a complete exhaustion of the synonyms for putrid and asinine does a disservice to both the memories of our spurned ancestry and...

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