clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Gobble Marries & Other Stuff

The current temperature outside the Royals Review World Headquarters: ZERO DEGREES. Needless to say, one's thoughts stray towards the Summer on days like this, or rather, something like the idea of simply something warmer. Its not fun to be alive when its ZERO outside. As the 18th century British poet William Cowper wrote:

The frugal housewife trembles when she lights
Her scanty stock of brush-wood, blazing clear
But dying soon, like all terrestrial joys.
The few small embers left she nurses well,
And while her infant race with outspread hands
And crowded knees sit cowering o'er the sparks,
Retires, content to quake, so they be warm'd.
The man feels least, as more inured than she
To winter, and the current in his veins
More briskly moved by his severer toil;
Yet he too finds his own distress in theirs.
The taper soon extinguished, which I saw
Dangled along at the cold fingers' end
Just when the day declined, and the brown loaf
Lodged on the shelf half-eaten without sauce
Of savoury cheese, or butter costlier still,
Sleep seems their only refuge.

from The Task

Luckily, beyond mere sleep and buttered bread, we have things like heating, electric blankets and baseball. Watching Comcast's replay of Sox-Indians from September, it almost feels warmer.

Where was I? Ohh yea, baseball. The Royals sorta opened camp today, with it being pitchers & catchers day and all. Included in the story was this gem:

Gobble and infielder Andres Blanco arrived with news of their marriages. Gobble wed Julie Barrett on Jan. 7 at Bristol, Va.; Blanco married Roseudys Aguilera on Dec. 17 in Venezuela.
Must. Google. "Julie Barrett". NOW.

[10 minutes later]

Damn. Can't find anything. I now call upon the loyal readers of Royals Review to aid me (and your fellow man), sharing any information on the new Mrs. Gobble.

I don't really know if its real joy or some weird mix of envy and self-hatred with which I view the 100% de facto & guaranteed hot wives/girlfriends of baseball players. Ehh, as they used to say, "what ever is, is right". I guess its easy to be cynical, but would you rather live in a world without Greinke dating a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader?

I can't even imagine such a universe.

The thing is, I really really like Jimmy Gobble. Mainly because he's kinda goofy/normal looking and isn't very good. He's a pro baseball player and will make more money this season than I ever will, and, as we discussed about, theres only about a 100% chance his wife his hot. Still, because he's normal looking, not good, and named "Gooble" he's a borderline everyman.

Even better, he has his own footnote in baseball history, posting one of the lowest K-rates for a regular pitcher EVER in 2004. For the crass, according to Baseball Reference, Gobble has made something on the order of $700,000 in baseball.

Congratulations Jimmy! I'm 100% Sure Your New Bride is Beautiful! Best of Luck in 2006!!