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Let Irish Baseball Players Take Your Mind Off of Royal Failures

The Royals need new enemies, new rivals. Someone to bully around, someone that lets them feel strong, important, powerful, well-liked. Isn't that the point of being alive? As history, and the History Channel have taught us, nationalism is a great way to feel good about yourself with little to no cost. Perhaps the healthiest form of nationalism is a monarchical model, preferably of the 18th century, ancien regime model: leaders are best all-powerful and divinely inspired/directed. In short, theres nothing like venerating a good king. Personally, George III of England has always been one of my favorites, his heroic struggle against obesity and mental illness in the face of countless pressures and hassles remains an example to us all. Under his leadership, Great Britain was almost able to defeat the dastardly rebels of the American Revolution. Still, like all those Royals-Yankees battles of the 1970s, you can still respect a noble losing effort.

Point being, we like the Royals, and we love a good Royal. Thats why SLGGGRRR wears a crown. A natural enemy of the Royals, particularly those lovable English ones, has always been the Irish (well, 'cept for when they had their own, back in the mists of Celtic pre-history). So yea, Ireland's lame and ain't got a king. But they play baseball over there now, or are starting to.

I demand a Royals-Ireland game. Its a perfect fit in terms of the natural antimony, and its a good chance for the Royals to pick up a game. Plus, I bet Buddisimo Bell can do a pretty funny Irish accent.

(seriously though, see this movie if you can...)