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Vote or Die: Teahen For All-Star

Time to put up or shut up Royals fans. Time to stuff the ballot box for our favorite Royals, especially Royals Review All-Star choice Mark Teahen, who needs just 1,028,372 votes to catch A-rod in the 3rd base voting. Teahen, currently at 38,997 votes, is at 13th in the 3rd base standings, along with fellow 13th placers Buck and Berroa. According to MLB, only Grudz (9th) and Dougie Mientkiewicz have cracked the top 10 in a category (albeit only, 9th & 10th respectively), including an incredible 61,661 Minky votes.

Time to make our voices heard.

Vote for Teahen, or die.

Because Teahen doesn't have enough at bats yet to be qualified for the the batting title, lets take a look at Mark's standing amongst AL thirdbasemen with at least 100 PAs, and consider the naked injustice of his likely All-Star snub.

Batting Average: Teahen .248 (12th). Mark's struggled a bit in the average category, dipping below .200 in May. Thanks to his recent hot streak however, Teahen's blasting towards .250 and beyond! The league leader in average is some guy named Esteban German at .316. Never heard of him. Other notables include Mike Lowell (also at .316), Arod (.278), Eric Chavez (.264) and alternate universe horrible Royal signing Adrian Beltre (.234).

On-Base Percentage: Teahen .289 (15th). That German guy is leading once more at .412, followed by Arod (.389) and Blalock (.378). Teahen should be above .300 by the ASB if he maintains his current hot streak. Currently, Teahen's way better at getting on base than two other third sackers, Brandon Innnnggggggge and Aubrey Huff (remember when he was good???).

Slugging Percentage: Teahen .389 (11th). Now we're rolling. Teahen towers over lesser sluggers such as Tony Batista, Tony Graffanino, Chone Figgins, Adrian Beltre (wow) and that German guy. He's bearing down on a .400 SLG like a runaway train. The only thing that can stop him now is the voters.

OPS: Teahen .679 (14th). Watch your back Tony Batista (.690), your strange batting stance and Minnesota paychecks can't protect you in the OPS standings. Break a leg, you fraud.

Home Runs: Teahen 3 (13th). Interestingly, no regular third basemen in the American League have 2 home runs. Some have 3, some have one, lots have more, but none have three. Once again, Teahen hovers in the Adrian Beltre (5), Aaron Boone (3), Aubrey Huff (3) zone. Two season ago, that would have meant he was an All-Star. Guess what, that logic still holds!!!

Extra Base Hits: Teahen 8 (15th). Teahen puts the smack down on such jokers as: Esteban German (ouch), Aubrey Huff and ... and... well, and a bunch of scrubs who don't have 100 PAs. You don't want any of this Dallas McPherson, sure you have 9 XBHs, but you don't qualify for this grouping of players, so step! Teahen also has four times as many extra base hits as former All-Star and NY Media darling Edgardo Alfonso.

Walks to Strikeout Ratio (BB/K): Teahen .24. Not the best category for Mark, as he sits at 16 out of 17 here, thanks to just 7 walks against 29 Ks. Typical Royal however; doesn't it seem like our guys strike out alot?? Well, just to contradict that generalization, German leads 3rd sackers with a 1.25 BB/K ratio.

Runs Created Per 27 Outs: Teahen 3.89 (13th). How many runs would a lineup of all Teahen's score? 3.89. How many runs would a lineup of all Troy Glauses score? 7.10. Yea, but he sold out his country to chase the Canadian dollar (or was traded, but those players are never loyal, we all know that). Teahen stayed loyal to his... err, umm, yeah, "he's from Canada" you say? Well, hey, did we mention that Arod (6.45) gets paid alot? Yaaaay Teahen!

Hit By Pitches: Teahen 0 (1st, or 15th). Mark Teahen earns his trips to first base. Once every 10 days he'll walk, or, he might blast a single right by your face you mofo!! He ain't getting hit by a pitch for nothin'! He's not one of these prima donnas like Melvin Mora (9) who take the cheap way out.

Stolen Bases: Teahen 2 (Tied for 4th). Buddy Bell, I know you're reading this on your laptop in the hotel. Please give Mark the green light for a few stolen base chances these next few games. With his third steal, Teahen will pass 7 other 3Bs and move into 3rd place on the stolen base chart. If he steals 20 more after that, he'll catch Chone Figgins. Or rather, he'll catch what Chone had on June 14th. Which is still pretty good.

Pitches Per Plate Appearance: Teahen 3.76 (12th). Teahen is tied with perennial All-Star Alex Rodriguez at 3.76 P/PA. Sure, he's seeing almost a full 4 pitches fewer per game Troy Glaus, but when you're this good, it doesn't matter. If you flip the category around and called it "Manliness", Teahen would be in 6th, behind the most hactastic of them all, Hank Blalock (3.57). He would, however, be #1 in our hearts. If Teahen swings at the first pitch for, say, the next three weeks, he should move into last/first in this category. Interstingly, Esteban German is seeing 4.17 pitches per, and what a shock, he's new to the Royal Organization.

VORP (Value Over Replacement Level): Teahen -1.4 (12th). Sure, according to VORP, Teahen's been below replacement level, meaning a generic AAAA player would have been about a run better through this point in the season. Luckily, the Royals have been playing that very kind of player in German, who's posted a 2.4 VORP (8th). So see, it all evens out. Glaus again leads AL 3Bs at 10.8, followed by Mike Lowell (thanks Fenway!) at 9.0 and that SOB Arod at 8.3.

PA% (Percentage of his team's plate appearances): Teahen 5.2% (15th). There's value in showing up every day, especially when you're just slightly below replacement level, which means you're just barely a negative drag on the lineup. Just a soft cipher of nothingness if you will. Still, somebody's gotta hit 7th, and Mark's been there. Well, except when he hasn't. He has grabbed a higher % of the team's PAs than teammate Esteban German.

OBI % (Success Rate in Driving in Batters On Base): Teahen 16.4% (5th). This is where Teahen's bread is buttered. He's clutch. He's heroic. He's a winner. All unlike you know who, that clown who currently leads AL 3B voting. Teahen has come up with a runner on first 35 times, on second 26 times, on third 12 times, for a total of 73 runners. He's driven 12 in. He's especially good at getting the man at 3rd in (7 for 12). Eric Chavez leads at 18.2 %, but he's an Athletic, and we all know that they aren't clutch because Moneyball, which Billy Beane wrote, doesn't believe in clutchness. Of course, the fact that nearly all these players are within shouting distance of one another (18-8%) means nothing. Clutch hitter's exist, and Big Papi is the clutchest of them all. Well, except against the White Sox last year in the playoffs, when he padded his stats, despite the Sawks getting swept.

Not to digress, but lets play one of Rob Neyer's favorite games. Player A and Player B have both played in 8 postseason series:

Player A: .305/.393/.534 (133 PAs)
Player B: .301/.383/.552 (161 PAs)

Player A is Arod, Player B is Clutch Demi-God, Order of the Jeter, David Ortiz. Of course, Ortiz is also an immobile behemoth who doesn't have a position he can play on the field...

But we digress. The fact of the matter is that Mark Teahen deserves our All-Star support! Royals Review declares three aims:

1) To Vote Mark Teahen onto the All-Star Team
if no #1) then
2) To Get Teahen to within a Million Votes of 1st Place
or, 3) To Get Teahen more AS votes than Dougie

Together, we can make it happen. Teahen is the heart and soul of the Royals -- well, except when he was sent back down to the minors -- and represents to the fullest the Allard Baird era, and the future hope of the Rising Glory that Dayton Moore, Dean Taylor, Familia Glass and Buddisimo Bell are currently building.

Its a special time to be a Royals fan.