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Royals Go Mel Gibson on Themselves

Look at it this way, the Cardinals have lost 7 straight, and they are in a pennant race. So it could always be worse.

Before 12,022 captivated fans at the K, the Royals fell to the Twins 8-2. Remember when we intoned that we were already playing with house money given Jorge de la Rosa's production of one good start? Well, he pitched like someone who would be traded for Tony Graffanino tonight, allowing 5 earned runs, 4 hits and 4 walks in an inning and a third. Season ERA: 8.59. I believe at this point we trade him to the Devil Rays (J.P. Howell), release him outright (Joe Mays) or keep him around for another three years (Runelyvs Hernandez, Denny Bautista, Jeremy Affeldt, Steve Stemle). The Royals have a plan, and insomuchas continuing to live represents a dogged determination to not die, well, the plan's working.

This isn't the time to cut and run.

In all seriousness, this is in line with what we expected from Jorge (which MUST be pronounced "Georgie" for no reason). One shot of good, two shots of bad and a nebulous feeling that we're getting somewhere. Other than our inspirational quest to win 63 games, nothings at stake here other than RSTN ratings and the health of opposing hitters.

And so it goes... 6-0 before the Royals had batted twice, with everything over except a failed attempt to outscore Andres Blanco's error total.

Which didn't happen.

Silly me who was excited about Blanco's callup and the potential of the Royals reverting to the still flawed yet worth exploring concept of a no-hit, all-glove SS. Despite the protestations of many, I held firm to the idea that Blanco was solid with the glove. In fact, he may be. But after his breakdown tonight, he'll neither curry favor with Buddisimo or deserve our collective benefit of the doubt.

Did you catch the sportswriter of the three? Get used to sights like this Luke Hochevar, you became a millionaire today, and sincerest congrats on the beginning of your Royals career.

Heartiest salutations to Grudz, who has hit in 10-straight games. If Javy Lopez can clear waivers, then lets hope that Grudz can. I'm thrilled to death with the possibility of another C- prospect joining our ranks, and as we all know in life anticipation is often sweeter than the thing to come.

The good news is that despite it all, the internet will solve something Doug Mientkiewicz knows at the very center of his soul. Between multiple visits to Royals Review, Minky took the time to chat with fans on the team site.

Have Richard Lewis and Dougie ever been seen at the same time?

As if responding to my wondering aloud if the players actually do these chats, KCROYALS.COM has gone the extra-mile, offering photographic evidence that Minky was on hand and on line Thursday to chat. Color me fanboy, but its kinda cool that these guys are willing to do these silly things... I wonder how many guys turn down the team's suggestion to come along for the webride?

I especially enjoyed this exchange

Andrea_Mientkiewicz: What do you do in the offseason? Is your family nice?

Mientkiewicz: No, especially my sister! I'm kidding. My family is great, a little crazy but I wouldn't change it for the world. Now go put up my hurricane shutters.

I'm amused, stunned and vaguely weirded out all at the same time. There were a few responses like this, along the lines of the "do you need to relieve some stress Mark" from some random at St. Mary's College last week.

Last week we noted that Dougie was actually having a fairly pedestrian defensive season, a sentiment he echoed in the chat,

Mientkiewicz: Me? No. I rank this as one of my most disappointing defensive years. That being said, the only other year I felt I played worse was the year I won it! As far as Grud, there is no better second baseman in the game than him. The fact that he does not have one is a tragedy.

So is his nickname "Grud" or "Grudz"? And of course... There was a "Steel" reference.

bucky44: How much longer do you want to play this marvelous game of baseball?

Mientkiewicz: They are going to have to rip this jersey off my back. As long as I'm upright and can leave enough in the tank to throw batting practice to Steel, I will keep playing.

Yea, I 've decided now, its actually an awesome name. Now he's just got to become a badass and his life will be set. If he ends up looking and acting like me, and is named "Steel"... not so good.

Finally, a reading from the Book of Sterger (if you click this link, kill yourself). This week at, Jenn focuses on a particularly hard-hitting set of questions ranging from her thoughts on Vegas, male facial hair and flattery towards women. While absolutely stunned at the question from "John" from Texas, her handling of a SAT II-tough chewing tobacco question is an affirmation of the human mind.

What is your take on men chewing tobacco? I'm not referring to the big wad in the cheek, but the snuff that is stuffed in the lip. A guy chooses to get his nicotine fix from Copenhagen because he thinks it looks cool. Spitting has always been considered a guy thing. Are women seriously repulsed by it? -- Charles, Pearl Harbor

Ugh! Nothing is more revolting than sitting next to that guy at the game who is spitting out his chew over the wall. This is usually the part where I stuff some kind of food into my bottom lip, and ask him, "Does this look hot to you?"

Not only do guys look like they just had a bad experience with the dentist, even worse, they are also causing damage to both their mouth and their teeth. Just because you aren't inhaling the tobacco doesn't mean you are free from health concerns. So maybe in some cultures spitting foul-smelling brown goo and mouth cancer are considered sexy or a "guy thing," but I find it repulsive. Stick with sunflower seeds.

I wait eagerly for her next word.