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Game 60 Open Thread- Royals (21-38) at Indians (35-21)

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Game 60, it almost seems momentous.

Through 59 games the Royals mostly struggled, posting a 21-38 record, good for dead last in the American League. To our continual annoyance, a team that many assumed would at least be competent -- especially at the plate -- has resorted to its old monkeyshines.

The Oscar Wilde School of Hitting, KC's AL Offensive Ranks

Runs: 13th
HRs: 14th
2Bs: 9th
XBHs: 10th
SBs: 10th
SB%: 10th
BA: 13th
OBP: 13th
SLG: 13th

Bring Back the Runelvys-Affeldt Era, KC's Pitching Ranks

ERA: 10th
WHIP: 12th
Strikeouts: 10th
K/BB: 10th
K/9: 13th
BA-A: 13th
OBP-A: 9th
SLG-A: 13th
SV %: 9th
Wild Pitches: 2nd

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You get the idea. Lest you accuse me of cherry-picking those stats, I invite you to stroll through ESPN's sortable stats page and see for yourself.

Once again, we're blessed to watch, night after night, a team who fails in every aspect of the game.

Of course, all of that will change, beginning tonight, behind Brian Bannister (1-3, 3.89 ERA). Coming off his best outing of the season (or as I called it, his life) Bannister is now 5th on the team in terms of Pitching VORP, clocking in at a VORP of 5.7. Meche leads the team with a 19.7 VORP, and is as such the only Royal sniffing the top of the AL Leaderboard (Mecher is 10th, wedged between Pettitte and Bedard).

And in breaking news, Bannister will have Joey Gathright at his side.

The Indians counter with former Royal and noted whiner Paul Byrd (6-1, 3.57 ERA). Byrd destroyed our national innocence when he left the Royals after the 2002 season and further annihilated whatever strands of sanctity Arod and Bonds hadn't already sullied, by then bouncing from Atlanta to Anaheim to Cleveland.

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I'll actually be at tonight's game, with pretty good seats (7th row) behind the Royals dugout. If you see a white dude wearing a Royals hat, its probably me. I will be emulating "Courage", the Greatest Fan in the World. (More pics of dude here.)