One thing about having one of the worst teams in baseball over the past 13 years is that we have had our share of absolute crap on the roster. Anyone from KC that listens to 810 may have heard the "Leabo List" of worst catchers for the Royals.
Some time ago, I formulated a list of the creme de la creme of crap players that the Royals ran out from the period 1995-2006. I think the list embodies the utter hopelessness and despair that we Royals fans have felt.
It's funny, when you're in the moment, you actually believe that some of these players may turn out to be something. Looking back, you get some perspective on how utterly hopeless and dreadful our franchise was.
Sure, some of this may have to do with ownership (probably a fair share), but I think that you have to say that Allard Baird may have been one of the worst GMs in baseball history.
Without further ado, here's the list, with a couple of alternates thrown in:
C Jorge Fabregas - sounds like a cologne.
C Sal Fasano - talked a good game, but too fat and the fu manchu has to go.
1B Hal Morris - did this guy EVER hit a home run?
2B Wilton Guerrero - Played like Lisa Guerrero.
3B Craig Paquette - One of Boonie's all-time favorites.
SS Neifi Perez - Worst trade in Royals history. Then, we have to suffer the indignity of him making the world series with the Tigers and hitting a homer against us (in a game that former Royal Chad Durbin pitched) in a 17-3 drubbing at home on a Sunday, that was probably the low point of the 2007 season to date.
Util Luis Alicea - Just one more worthless piece of roster fill.
OF Chip Ambres - Will live in infamy as the player that kept the 19-game losing streak in 2005 alive against the Indians.
OF Terrence Long - Way to jog past that fly ball in the outfield, T.
OF Rich Thompson - Just what the 2004 team needed to top off the roster, a guy dedicated to pinch-running. Another example of how utterly clueless Baird was in putting a roster together.
OF Scott Pose - Tony "Happy" Muser's pet player, took a bases-loaded walk to win a game and that was about it.
DH Mark Quinn - His strike zone started at the third-base dugout and stretched to I-70. Way to put in the work to get better as a player, Q.
P Jim Converse, P Mac Suzuki - I kind of lump these guys together, just because of their names. Can you take any team serious with a guy named Converse? And how about an Asian guy named Mac? What, was he a truck driver or a mechanic in his former life?
P Eduardo Villacis - What else needs to be said here?
P Darrell May - If you listened to this guy talk, he should have thrown a no-hitter every time out. Those damn batters just kept sticking the bat head out there and punching it 550 feet into the stands.
P Joe Mays - Took the $1mm from the Royals, pitched like sh!t and then refuses an assignment to the minors, only to resurface with another team. What an ultimate tool.
P Tony Cogan - Crapped down his leg in Yankee Stadium.
P Shawn Camp - Crapped down his leg almost every time he pitched. I was so happy to see him continue his mastery against Ben Francisco the other day.
P Jeremy Affeldt - Another wimp. Earned this honor by getting pummeled by Kyle Farnsworth in the brawl with Detroit, and doing absolutely nothing about it.
P Doug Henry - Tasty 6.07 ERA in 2001
P Jerry Spradlin - Refused the closer's role. What an absolute puss.
P Albie Lopez - Almost single-handedly sunk the Royals 2003 season before being released.
P Brian Shouse - Career ERA? 3.92. ERA while with the 2002 Royals? 6.14
P Scott Sullivan - Can anyone confirm that this guy ever pitched a game for the Royals?
A.J. Hinch - Another terrible trade for the Royals.
Eli Marrero - Absolute crap for us (and he killed my fantasy team, although if I picked anyone from the 2006 Royals for my fantasy team, I guess I get what I deserved). One of Baird's many "desperation specials".
Jeff Reboulet - Name sounds like a French porn star.
Mike Coolbaugh - Thank god this guy never actually played on the team.
Gookie Dawkins - Why?
Luis Ordaz - Looks like Vin Diesel.
Runelephant Hernandez - I have to say, at least this guy was a competitor on the mound. However, the way he didn't take care of himself (and more telling, the way the Royals kept him around and running him out there) was emblematic of the absolutely pathetic state of the team in the past five years.
Lima Time - One of the worst ERAs in ML history. How far have you fallen when Lima is on the cover of your (2005) media guide? What, Angel Berroa wasn't available?
Blake Stein - Capped off his epic Royals career by busting out a 7.91 ERA in 2002 for the Boys in Blue.