"Homer, I don't use the word "hero" very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history."
--Lionel Hutz, RIP
And so it begins with Mike Aviles, the man who is changing the complexion of the 2008 AL Central race as we speak. The man whom the readers of this blog were arguing about weeks before his callup. The arguments have now given way to vindictive posts, mea culpas, and hopeful revisions. Whatever the case, all are united in admiration for (cliché alert) the Man, the Myth, and the Legend -- Mike Aviles. It is fitting that this man will be the first to be nicknamed by a Real Royals Blog. It is fitting that this man, doubted for so long, passed over for more recent, flash-in-the-pan imports who save multiple runs a game with their defense, be a symbol that this blog and its readers will not have their place usurped by another. It is time for Mike Aviles to be properly christened.
Let's get this going. I've taken all the suggestions I had collected on the original post and also from the suggestions I could find in the comments (if I missed any, too bad, I did the best I could). Rather than winnowing it down, I pretty much just put everything I could find so that no one feels deliberately left out. You can go there to check it out. I've set the end date and time for relatively early next week. Aviles is ours, he belongs to us, just as Muad'Dib belonged to the Fremen. So let's name him in all his glory, and then move on to conquer the rest of the Royals universe -- today the scrubs, tomorrow the studs!
Here is the "Aviles excerpt" from the original post. You can go there via the link above to see how the commentators contributed. I make no bones about the choice I favor, but it's not "my" election, so let's see what happens.
Mike Aviles. Obviously the most crucial issue at this time. We were arguing about what level of greatness he would attain long before his callup, and thus we get dibs on the most recent KC sensation that some fans might want to engage in some... questionable interactions. Sure, he might turn out to be the next Bo Hart, but I think we all know better -- it's only a matter of time before this offensive juggernaut takes over the the airwaves at the always-ready-to-jump-on-a-story-from-the-flyovers Wordwide Leader. Possibilities:
- My initial thought was "Off the Table," but, as was pointed out to me by NYRoyal, this is too abstract (although I think NYRoyal is also afraid that it might be too true!).
- NYRoyal seems to be pimping for "El Salvador," which is nice, and, again seems true. I accidentally modified this into "El Salvatore," which is actually Italian, and everyone knows that Italians make up the historically grittiest baseball ethnic group (Dimaggio, Rizzuto, Fasano...). "El Salvatore" does have some questionable connotations. In general, there could be any number of "saviors" running around in the system or the draft pool. Besides, NYRoyal already came up with the Royals Confidence Index, GRIT (although this will eventually be superseded by ERSTAD) and its offshoots, and he never lets us have fun overreacting (Moore is dooming teh franchise!!!111). But it's up to the people.
- I believe that buddyball was the first to suggest "The Missing Link." Great evolution reference, and also recalls one of my favorite WCCW wrestlers from the early 1980s. Not bad, but, again, anyone could be the Missing Link -- Shealy seems to swing like someone lower down the evolutionary tree.
- My personal favorite is my own idea, naturally: Avilanche. It sounds vaguely wrestling related, but not directly. It might also be taken to reflect a slightly pudgy built (Ronnie Belliard-pudgy, not Cal Pickering-esque massiveness). Plus, it is name-derived (in your face Rany !!!!1111one!). It also has the advantage of actually sounding like a nickname, might refer to an "avilanche" of hits.