The Mariners are a bunch of disgusting scalawags who aren't fit to dig the graves in a Finnish pet cemetery. Thanks to last night's brilliant victory, not only did Luke Hochevar reaffirm the power of the human spirit, but the Royals began to regain critical territory in the northwest quadrant of Albany County. From the campus of UW to the county border, all of Albany is solidly in our hands. The key for the Royals is to keep the Mariners on their heels and continue pushing back the teal and silver, hopefully out of Natrona and Converse counties altogether by the end of the weekend.
All thirteen members of the Wildfire Dance Squad pledged themselves to the Royals after last night's victory. They will spend Saturday afternoon passing out anti-Mariner propaganda, most notably, a chapbook titled Jose Vidro is the Beastman.
Tonight's battle promises to be especially dramatic, as The Epic (4.67 ERA) himself returns to vanquish his hated former friends. Facing off against Gil will be your standard issue Mariner villain, J ---- (the name is too damn ugly to even spell) Washburn (5.03 ERA).