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At Least Jeff Kent Got Dressed Up for His Cliche-Ridden, Self-Serving Retirement Press Conference

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He always acted like a great guy, just ask him. Or one of his white teammates. Or motorcycle friends.

We have 24 hours to find another defender of our national innocence and the integrity of the game. If not... well, it's too damn horrible to even talk about.

Does anyone have Sean Casey's phone number?