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Master Sleuth and Really Smart Guy John Bale was Surprisingly Wrong About Alex Rodriguez Not Having a Cousin

Alex Rodriguez has a cousin.

Of course, as widely reported earlier, noted logical whiz and brilliant legal mind John Bale, went public with his doubts:

"I wonder if his cousin even existed?" Bale wondered. "That was my first thought...


"That was classic Bale," said a Supreme Court clerk who wished to remain anonymous, "he sees things in a fact pattern that most people miss. Whenever someone asks a question that completely changes the parameters of a discussion, we call it 'The Bale Moment.'"

"Although this looks to be the rare case in which Bale was wrong, his insight was so utterly profound that I think it's safe to say he advanced the discussion. While everyone else was giving Alex a one hundred percent benefit of the doubt, here was one brave Bale standing up and speaking truth to power."

Bale, considered one of the brightest minds in sports today, typically spends the majority of his free time volunteering at legal aid clinics, composing amicus briefs regarding the nation's most important trials, and helping local police departments solve crimes.

Bale follows in a long tradition of attendees of Jefferson Davis Community College who have distinguished themselves on both a national and international stage, for during his time in Japan Bale was a top advisor to the Japanese Prime Minister.