Two vital Midwest cities face an unprecedented threat. It may be that Billy Butler and Sidney Ponson split their devastating appetites between the two cities. However, citizens of Omaha and Kansas City must brace for the previously unthinkable. At any time, both players could be assigned to the major or minor league roster. We are moments away from a beef and cheese catastrophe. Many experts are arguing that bacon will be just as strongly affected.
If you live in the KC or Omaha area, use this tool to predict where you can go if you need to obtain cheeseburgers:
Type in "Kansas City, MO" (or "Omaha, NE") and press Search. From the drop-down menu in the lower left, select "Mk28" 1.4mt, and press "Nuke it" at the bottom.
Here is the meaning of the radii, from the center outward:
1. No cheeseburgers to be found at all; peripheral junk food supply is also devastated.
2. Cheeseburgers may be found in the early morning, and only at establishments recently receiving shipments.
3. Reserve cheeseburger supplies make location of cheeseburgers in this area more likely.
4. Cheeseburgers are likely to be found in this area, though rolling outages may occur in linear patterns as the two players make their meal runs.
Outside the radius, cheeseburger service will only be impacted by other refugees fleeing the crisis zone to seek cheeseburgers. Watch out for increased traffic and meal wait times as you approach the crisis zone.
In the event of a crisis, we have no idea how long it will last. Already, the cheeseburger market is being affected by worried citizens moving to stockpile cheeseburgers at home. Hot dog and Bon Bon vendors are also expressing worry.
Pray we make it through both contracts. And if Runelvys makes a return... God help us all.