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Royals Reportedly Sign OF Melky Cabrera

Oh God.


[I think I've seen this movie. Remember the distant year of 2009? The Royals needed an OF. So they signed Brian Anderson (who later basically lost his mind and became a pitcher). ok, interesting move Dayton, you actually went with a cheap option, a defense first guy, you fooled us. Then, they signed Scotty Pods. hmm, well, ok. let him and BA fight it out. May the first to hit competence wins. Then they signed Rick/Dick Ankiel. umm, did someone forget that we signed Pods? ]

Career triple slash for Melky: .267/.328/.379. (Last three seasons: .260/.319/.372.) Look, if a guy isn't declining, we aren't signing him. It must have been hard for Dayton to find a 25 year old who peaked in 2006 and has seen his career flatline, but he found him.

Cabrera's defensive numbers are all over the place, but like Francoeur, there's some vague overall notion that he's probably passable aglove. Expect Yost to call him "the best in the business" tomorrow. Cabrera, one of five hundred CFs brought in by Atlanta in the last few years to replace Andruw Jones, played all three OF positions mostly equally last season. Expect the Royals to slot him in at wherever he's worst.

Wow. Wow.

In some imagined vacuum, the contract isn't awful. I guess. It's just... well... another "best case scenario this is pointless" deal. It's going to be a blast when the Royals are an 80 win team (thanks to THA BEST SYSTEM EVAAA!!!111) and need to fill three lineup spots to get over the hump. Can't wait to see how that shakes out. Though really, I'm trying to think of how this really isn't that terrible. It's just... damn Dayton. This is so... so... Dayton.

(And guess what, when the bulk of your moves are at best harmless/pointless, you're overall pretty worthless. At some point, there's supposed to be value produced, right?)

So I'm seeing two scenarios here: either our GM is at best poor at worst curiously insane (with regards to baseball) or he believes that the fans of Kansas City will tolerate Royals baseball only if a certain number of semi-famous people are on the roster at all times. Jason Kendall! Scott Podsednik! Rick Ankiel! Jeff Francoeur! Melky! Those are names baby. And names move paper in this town. That, or curiously insane.