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The Royals Make Me Wanna Troll The World

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The Rangers fancy themselves a contender. They actually kinda have a hyped roster, at least amongst hardcore seamheads. And, they have Nolan Ryan around, so effing every third thing written about them is about something Ryan did or said or brought to the organization. (Actually, the stuff about Ryan is just annoying but irrelevant to what I'm getting to.)

Anyway, the Rangers have beaten the Royals three straight times. However, two of the games were one-run games, and the other was a classic Royal failfest. And all this annoys me. It also makes me want to be a gigantic jerk. I want to turn my hatred of this team outwards. I want to fly a prop plane over their stadium that says, "YOUR PERFORMANCE AGAINST THE ROYALS DOES NOT IMPRESS ME." That Elvis Andrus play on Jose Guillen made ESPN Top Plays, or whatever they call it, and every time I see, all that register is the realization that Jose Guillen is the slowest not totally fat guy in baseball. At the end of the highlight you catch a glimpse of Guillen and he looks like... well... a dude that came close to having his legs amputated last year, which in this case is true.

So bully for you Andrus. You had a minute and a half to throw out someone who is effectively disabled. TOP PLAY!

Close games against the Royals are basically losses. What Rangers have done so far against the Royals equals one loss against a mediocre team and at least two against a good one. An angry little part of me can't believe the Rangers can even be happy with these games. When C.J. Wilson jumped up and down or sideways or whatever he did at the end of that game, I just wanted to scream, "YOU DID THIS AGAINST THE ROYALS!"

Of course, this is all just a manifestation of self-loathing. I have nothing with the Rangers or their fans feeling good. I'm sure they all know the Royals suck, on some level, and anyways it doesn't matter. We're the idiots.