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If I Was Making A Movie About The 2010 Royals And Could Only Use Songs From The 1994 R.E.M. Album Monster For The Soundtrack

Brought to you by the people who brought you the other stuff in the back of my storage bins.

"What's The Frequency, Kenneth?" (Youtube link): A nervous Brian Bannister gets in a late night argument with Jose Guillen about what stats are important on a charter flight. Trey Hillman texts Dayton Moore, who is sitting at the front of the plane, asleep.

"Crush With Eyeliner" (YT link): During pregame warmups during his short stay in the Majors, Kila Ka'aihue spots a beautiful woman in the stands at the K. We see Kila thinking about talking to her. Before the song ends Kila is back in Omaha.

"King of Comedy" (YT): Jason Kendall hears that Chris Getz needs a new suit for a date on the team's off-day. Kendall takes Getz on a whirlwind shopping tour, paying for everything. During the trip, we see Getz getting more and more comfortable, as well as Kendall slipping baseball cards with his phone number on them to shopgirls. (Seriously, listen to the first 10 seconds of this song.)


"I Don't Sleep, I Dream" (YT): After Dusty Hughes blows a close game open in the 7th, Yost tells Farnsworth he wants to give him a more prominent role. Later that night, we see Farnsworth lying in bed, nervous and unable to sleep. Can he handle it?

"Star 69" (YT): A montage, with the screen constantly multiplying into new screens, focusing on Dayton Moore on his phone during trade season. We see Moore calling Omar Minaya, then Sabean, calling his own scouts, agents, etc.

"Strange Currencies" (YT): Alex Gordon sits on a dark bus, riding across Nebraska with the O-Royals. Another player, noticeably younger, nudges Gordon and asks him to tell him about the Majors. Gordon starts to do so, then suddenly becomes quiet. Gordon looks out the window and sees only darkness. The young player gets up and walks away.

"Tongue" (YT): The team celebrates after a dramatic win over Seattle and on a gag decide to take the beat writer out for a night on the town. They tell the writer they're setting him up with a real beauty, but when he finally meets her, that isn't the case. Still, she's a good sport, and ultimately is he. Everyone has a fun night.

"Bang and Blame" (YT): Hillman knows the end is near as the losses pile up. "Bang and Blame" is mixed in with a montage of swirling newspaper columns with bad headlines, and spliced audio of radio and TV talking heads criticizing the Royals.

"I Took Your Name" (YT): Alberto Callaspo hears from a friend that he's about to be traded, then it never happens, then he becomes the starting 3B, then he does get traded. Still working on the logistics on this one. If that doesn't work, we can go with the Brian Anderson, Pods, Ankiel, all being signed.

"Let Me In" (YT): Brian Anderson pops out during Spring Training. On the bench, Seitzer reminds him to think about the net he had placed in front of the batting cage before. "I want live drives from you, son. We love your arm in CF, we just need you to hit enough to show it off." Something registers with Anderson and in the lockerroom he calls his agent.

"Circus Envy" (YT): Another rough start for Meche, another argument about his health post-game.

"You" (YT): An extremely hungry Yuniesky Betancourt (or Billy, or Sean O'Sullivan, whatever you want) is told to lose some weight before the team leaves Arizona. We see them run along a street one evening after practice, while their teammates are taking home fast food of every variety.