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Dayton Moore's Double-Life Exposed: How Will the Royals and UVA Respond?

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KANSAS CITY - Officials announced today that current Royals GM "Dayton Moore" and UVA Men's basketball coach "Tony Bennett" are one and the same. It is not clear at press time if the man behind the complex and unprecedented double sports life is truly Moore, Bennett, or some as yet undiscovered third identity.

"Bennett" has been the head coach at the University of Virginia since 2009 and has been known in basketball circles for years, claiming to have been born in Wisconsin in the late 1960s. "Moore's" age is similar, though he is known to friends to have decried a Kansas birthplace.

The news came as a shock to both the baseball and basketball worlds, though not everyone has been upset.

"Frankly, I'm impressed," said Virginia fan Thomas Tidewater, "to coach those really boring Washington State teams and spend years methodically building the Royals farm system and acquiring former Braves at the same time? Amazing."

The net began to close on Moore/Bennett a few days ago, when he told a group of UVA beat writers that his biggest worry in ACC conference play was that "we don't have enough starting pitching, but hey, I didn't draft Luke Hochevar. Wait, I kinda did. No wait, I didn't. I mean, I'm a basketball coach."

An anoynmous source tipped off KC and UVA officials with photographs and the list of the exceedingly high number of college players from DC and Northern VA by Moore as Royals GM.

"He was trying to kill two birds with one stone." A local UVA observer tells Royals Review, "I think we were seeing a man running down the end of his rope after years of elaborate deception."

"We wouldn't see him around much in the winter," said Royal 2B Chris Getz, "but sometimes we'd see him in March and he'd always seem really frazzled and tired. Nobody knew."

Despite uproar it is not apparent what the future holds for Moore/Bennett, the Royals, or UVA basketball. Legal experts believe that almost certainly some degree of fraud was committed, but the case could take years to unravel.

"You don't do this alone," said FBI regional officer Mike Johnson, "we're still piecing together an incredibly complex case."

MLB Bud Selig has announced that he will hold off on taking action until all the facts are known, but added, "overall, this is a sad day. I blame the Players' Association and the agents representing amateur talent for allowing this to happen."