Report: Royal Camp Divided, Team Openly Fractured, Factions Formed

SURPRISE AZ - The Royals play their Spring Training games in Surprise, Arizona, and as the name suggests, no one saw this coming. Poised to contend for the first time in over a decade, numerous sources inside and outside the Royals organization can confirm that the team is openly divided.

The most explosive allegation, which again has been widely confirmed, is that the discord has broken out of the locker room and onto the diamond. As was widely reported yesterday, different team factions battled on the baseball field: Royal against Royal.

"This is as bad as it gets," said a longtime observer.

Manager Ned Yost was unavailable for comment. His office was found littered with photos of Reeves Nelson and according to an anonymous scout, he is near his breaking point.

"The tough thing for Neddy is that the sands are shifting, each day the alignment is different."

The discord has been especially hard on young pitcher Danny Duffy, who was seen Thursday huddled in his locker listening to the Edge sing "Sunday Bloody Sunday" live from Sarajevo on repeat.

"To pitch against one of his former brothers in arms, that was too much," said a team official. "Danny's a sensitive lad

Things have been so bad that Salvador's inimitable presence, once unimpeachable, has been doubted.

"Is he here?" asked fan David McDavid, "I don't know. Is he around the corner?"