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Eight is Enough! Royals Lose Again to Jays

Presswire

The Kansas City Royals have not won a game since April 10. Consider, when the Royals last won a game:

  • Kim Kardashian had not yet announced the possibility of someday running for mayor of Glendale, California
  • Hologram Tupac had not yet performed at Coachella
  • Fenway Park was only 99 years old.
  • Dick Clark was still alive.

Those were heady times. The Royals were 3-2, and we were all so much younger and full of optimism. Its like Don Henley sang:

Out on the road today

I saw a Royals sticker on a Cadillac

A little voice inside my head

Said "Don't look back, you can never look back."

This loss was like so many of the others - Ned pulling all the wrong levers, leading to a disastrous inning that costthe Royals the ballgame. It is becoming clear Ned is now putting on some kind of high performance art to perhaps show the imperfection of free will, the frailty of man, or to see how many stupid base-running decisions one team can make. It is baffling, yet beautiful in its ineptitude.

The Royals walked eight times tonight. Eight! It might be a franchise record. And yet they only scored three runs. They inexplicably stole two bases in the ninth - and it worked, which means Ned will double-down tomorrow night and have it hilariously backfire.

Moose homered and walked. That's good. He also struck out twice. That's bad.

Alex doubled and walked twice. That's good. He also looked terrible striking out in the ninth. That's bad.

Looks like we may have another brawl to look forward to this weekend. Follow random Jays reliever to see what he has to say about it on Twitter.

Hooch labored as Hooch does, but gave up just two hits and a run while striking out five. If I had told you that our starters would have a 4.21 ERA after the first 13 games, would you have guessed our record would be 3-10?