Royals Beat White Sox 7-5; Hawk Harrelson's Tears Taste Delicious

There is just something so cathartic about beating the Chicago White Sox, and the Royals actually seem to be the thorn in their side, no matter how bad we are. The Royals are now 9-4 against the Southsiders this year, easily their most wins against any one team. And tonight they wore green hats and unis. Why? Because they're the stupid White Sox, that's why.

Tonight was a dong-fest for both teams. Sal Perez got things going early with a solo shot. His nine home runs are already the most by a Royals catcher since Miguel Olivo in 2009 who I was surprised to see hit 23. Did he really? Was I asleep for most of those?

The White Sox catcher who I shall not name and is unfortunately having a sensational season, homered to tie things up. Lorenzo Cain, who has shown surprising pop this year, homered to put the good guys on top, only to have Luis Mendoza cough up the lead once again when Dewayne Wise hit a solo home run. Wise, who was mysteriously released by the Yankees a few weeks ago despite being pretty valuable, also tripled in the game.

The Royals would score twice in the sixth only to have Mendoza give up a two-run dong to Alexei Ramirez. Bullpen nastiness preserved the tie until the ninth. That left Lorenzo Cain to put the Royals on top for good with his first multi-dong game of his career.

Home runs. Someone should design a stat to see how often teams score when they hit one, because I bet its close to 100% of the time.