Wade Davis, Bruce Chen, and Luke Aplakia Give Old Man Duggan Half-Price Pizza

Three Royals pitchers combined to allow seven runs at Rangers Ballpark this evening. Wade Davis kicked things off, allowing four runs in the first five innings, running his pitch count up over 100 before being trotted back out in the bottom of the sixth and promptly giving up a lead-off single to Mitch Moreland and a rocket to deep center that came literally no more than two inches from being an A[nus]J[uice] Pierzynski dong hanging--a sight no one ever wants to see. The World's Most Aggravating Toolshed was instead limited to a double as the ball bounced off the very top of the wall and back into the field of play.

After the near soul-sucking dinger, Yost summoned Chen to the rubber with runners on second and third. He then gave Jurickson Profar a free pass on a full-count walk in which the rookie held back on a strike-out curve for roughly three-quarters of the Royals hitters. Leonys Martin followed the Profar walk up with another well-struck ball to center. Cain nearly came up with the catch in deep left-center on the warning track, with runners needing to hold until it escaped Cain's grasp and caromed back to Alex Gordon as Cain knelt on the warning track, discombobulated. With the benefit of the carom, both Moreland and The Grand Frosted-Haired Douche scored, following an intentional walk and a force at home on a nice Getz play that saw him throw across his body in front of the bag and barely reaching the dish ahead of Profar (see? I can say something nice about Getz). Chen then induced a Lance Berkman inning-ending double play to get out of the inning without allowing any of his runners to score, only screwing the pitcher before him (who realistically earned the two runs anyway given the near-dong).

That left the Rangers one run shy of seven, the magic number that I needed them to score to get half-price pizza from Papa John's a business that I'll only order from if I'm sticking it to them with the half-off deal.

Thankfully for me and my many hungry co-workers tomorrow afternoon, Luke Aplakia Hochevar knew what I needed and served up an Adrian Beltre rally-killing lead-off homer, a half-price pizza dong hanging of a most spectacular nature. Luke Aplakia may not have given me much in my life, but he did serve up the pizza hook-up tomorrow for Central Texas.

Asalaam alaikum.