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Game LXIX Open Thread - The Royals of Kansas City Versus The Racists of Cleveland

A winning team is possible with a victory. Two in a row means the victors get to set the Cuyahoga ablaze.

By Josh Duggan
That donut's soaked in gasoline.
That donut's soaked in gasoline.
Peter G. Aiken-USA TODAY Sports

Ervin Santana

#54 / Pitcher / Kansas City Royals

6-2

185

R

R

Dec 12, 1982

W-L G GS CG SHO SV BS IP H R ER HR BB K ERA WHIP
2013 - Ervin Santana 5-5 13 13 0 0 0 0 92.0 79 31 28 14 13 71 2.74 1.00

Ubaldo Jimenez

#30 / Pitcher / Cleveland Racists

6-4

210

R

R

Jan 22, 1984

W-L G GS CG SHO SV BS IP H R ER HR BB K ERA WHIP
2013 - Ubaldo Jimenez 5-4 13 13 0 0 0 0 67.2 59 38 36 10 34 67 4.79 1.37

If these aren't the Royals of yesteryear, they'll torch Jimenez. If they do torch Jimenez, they are legally allowed to take said torch and throw it in the waters of the Cuyahoga, which despite its purported recovery will be filled with gasoline and allowed to burn per a city statute written as an attempt to force the evil Racists' owner to field a competitive team despite the owner's insistence that she was going to move the team to Miami. This was specifically written with the Royals being the only team allowed to set the mighty Cuyahoga on fire because the likelihood of the Royals ever taking two in a row from the Clevelanders was so far-fetched that it seemed a hollow threat. Alas, here we are on the precipice, and Jeff Francoeur is grinning maniacally.

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