clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Game LXXX Open Thread - The Racists of Cleveland Versus The Royals of Kansas City

This is where we talk about baseball games while they're happening. Come marvel at Luis Mendoza's rugged handsomeness with the rest of us.

By Josh Duggan
Animal magnetism in cleats.
Animal magnetism in cleats.
Jesse Johnson-US PRESSWIRE

Corey Kluber

#28 / Pitcher / Cleveland Indians

6-4

215

R

R

Apr 10, 1986

W-L G GS CG SHO SV BS IP H R ER HR BB K ERA WHIP
2013 - Corey Kluber 6-5 14 12 0 0 0 0 75.2 84 38 35 9 14 73 4.16 1.30

Luis Mendoza

#39 / Pitcher / Kansas City Royals

6-3

245

R

R

Oct 31, 1983

W-L G GS CG SHO SV BS IP H R ER HR BB K ERA WHIP
2013 - Luis Mendoza 2-4 15 13 0 0 0 0 75.2 76 39 35 8 30 49 4.16 1.40

Their IP, ERA, and WHIP are startlingly similar, but there is one key factor working in MendozACE's favor: he's a Mexican Dreamboat. Opposing batsmen often shake their heads as they walk back to the dugout, marveling at Luis's devilishly good looks. He's a handsome man whose hair is spoken about across the known world. Men and women alike cannot help but be smitten, regardless of sexual preference. Any search for reason in attempting to explain his success need go no further.

He is sex appeal, undeniable and occasionally donning the baby blue. If someone could bottle the MendozACE package, they'd make a goddamn mint.

Yes, we have our Mendoza to ease us into slumber every night, visions of his locks flowing in the breeze. With that, who needs the playoffs?

American League Wild Card Standings

W L PCT GB STRK
Oakland 48 35 .578 0 Won 1
Baltimore 47 36 .566 1 Won 4
Tampa Bay 44 39 .530 4 Won 3
Detroit 43 38 .530 4 Lost 3
New York 43 39 .524 4.5 Won 1
Toronto 41 41 .500 6.5 Won 1
Kansas City 38 41 .481 8 Won 1
Los Angeles 39 43 .475 8.5 Won 6
Minnesota 36 43 .455 10 Lost 2
Seattle 35 47 .426 12.5 Lost 2
Chicago 32 47 .405 14 Lost 5

(updated 7.2.2013 at 6:19 PM CDT)

More From Royals Review