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Royals, Santana Look to Throttle the Lowly Pale Hoes

Santana and Danks engage in a battle of epic proportions. We will never be the same.


While you'll not hear much talk of this given that Kansas City is still arguably in the hunt for the second Wild Card playoff berth, the Royals are reeling over their past seven games. After the Marlins took the final two games of a three-game set in Kansas City and snapped the Royals' series-win streak that had begun as play recommenced following the All-Star Break, the Royals dropped three of five against the division-leading Detroit Tigers. Having now won just two of their past seven games, the Royals have lost valuable ground in the playoff race with the ticking of the timer on the 2013 season growing ever louder as the end draws near.

With the flicker of hope approaching extinguishment, the Royals turn to the man who has surprisingly been their best pitcher this season: Ervin "Magic" Santana. If ever there were a reclamation project that Dayton Moore could hang his hat on, it is Ervin Santana; and while we can quibble as to whether or not GMDM should have taken on Santana at the price tag that he got him at coming off a miserable 2012 season, he is on the verge of providing surplus value to the team with somewhere in the neighborhood of ten starts left.

Santana will attempt to throttle the lowly Pale Hoes, who have been out of contention since April but have won nine of their last 14 games. The Pale Hoes will trot out wrong-handed John Danks, who will probably quell the Royals' inconsistent and lefty-heavy offensive attack.

Does the fun ever start?