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Mariners Extinguish Royals' Flame, 4 - 0.

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Bill Paxton's progeny dismantles Royals systematically and completely.

Son of Paxton
Son of Paxton
Otto Greule Jr

Bill Paxton's kid shut the Royals down for seven innings, striking out 10 while allowing just four base-runners, all by way of the hit. I suppose this is bound to happen when 44% of your lineup cannot hit left-handed pitching. The eldest Paxton boy, who must have scurried away from their Utah home in the dark of night before Big Love began filming, was lights out, though it would be difficult to determine whether or not that was on account of Paxton's ability or the Royals' corresponding lack thereof.

It is even more difficult to tell how this game was won or lost because it was so interminably boring that it was nearly impossible to actually pay attention.

The moment the Sino-Panamanian Sensation ceded a run, it seemed clear that this game was over. The Royals managed a scant five hits on the evening and never mounted anything that resembled a rally. Perhaps the rollercoaster ride that was Monday's game took everything out of them. Perhaps the Racists' walk-off win (along with Tampa and Texas's wins) right as their game was getting underway sealed the deal. Whatever it may have been, these Royals were lethargic, lackadaisical, and limp.

Really, though, I suppose the games earlier in the day that all but sealed the Royals' fate probably set the tone for what was to transpire this evening. Many of us have known the playoffs were unlikely for a while, but the Royals haven't necessarily played like that was the case. They did play like that tonight.

The worst part of all of this, of course, is the Bill Paxton's progeny may have dealt a crucial blow in the Battle for Grass Creek. The Mariners' chances were on life support. A win might have tilted the scales completely in the favor of the Royals. Instead, the Mariners turn to Hisashi Iwakuma tomorrow and taking the last two of the season series while all but killing the Royals' slim playoff hopes would probably yield them significant gains in this ongoing and brutal WAR.