Breaking: Royals interested in acquiring baseball player

San Diego, California -- Though the Kansas City Royals have seemingly been quiet so far, multiple sources indicate the Royals are indeed interested in acquiring a baseball player or perhaps multiple baseball players.  These players might be acquired through either trade or free agency.

Jon Heyman tweeted this crucial piece of information:

#Royals interested by multiple athletes who happen to be baseball players. Unlikely they pursue other athletes. Bat and glove important.

The American League Champion Royals have a few empty spots in their roster.  Longtime DH Billy Butler signed with the Oakland Athletics, ace James Shields will certainly sign elsewhere in free agency, and right fielder Nori Aoki will test the free agent waters as well.  The positions of RF, DH, and SP are areas of importance if the club is to repeat their first playoff appearance since Elvis Presley's birth.

Specifically, the Royals have been interested in multiple baseball players to fill these positions.  An anonymous American league executive hinted that the Royals are in pursuit of one baseball player in particular.  Meanwhile, a different anonymous executive opined that this baseball player would be a bad fit for the club and floated a few more names, including a baseball player and, shockingly, a badminton player.  This maverick move sent waves through the Winter Meetings until Kansas City brushed it off as a joke.

"I'm not sure if the Royals are serious about this baseball player or other baseball players," an unnamed scout told us.  "He can play the game of baseball, which is good, and even owns his own glove, making him a good fit for a baseball team. He's got a good fastball; it sits at 94-96, touching 157 when the radar gun is malfunctioning. He and his agent are seeking a contract as large as possible, for obvious reasons. What, do you actually think that 'hometown connection' matters? This is business."

In fact, every single MLB team has been apparently linked to every single baseball player that exists in the world.  Scouts and executives, named or otherwise, tend to agree this is because a competent baseball team will seek to improve through any means necessary, which means seeking to find good baseball players.  Experiments to prove otherwise, such as the 2004-2006 Kansas City Royals' curious decision to employ a combined 14 players culled from the Broadway Street Denny's, usually fail.

It is now 2014, and the Royals don't need to find players from Denny's or elsewhere.  Their interest in baseball players remains high.  At some point, they will likely acquire one, or possibly more.  Regardless, these new baseball players will be eagerly greeted by baseball fans when they step into the baseball stadium for the first time.