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Fun with anagrams, 2015 roster edition

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Royals Review? More like Silverware, Yo.

Lo.
Lo.
Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images

Perusing the Twitters after the Kendrys Morales and Alex Rios signings led me to our glorious Twitter page--you can follow us @royalsreview.  One tweet was a collection of the best anagrams for newbie Rios, thanks to reader ks.cowboy:


It netted a few responses:



But the most shocking response was this one:


UNFOLLOW?  BUT THESE ARE ANAGRAMS!

When you can rearrange Alex Gordon into Lo, Danger Ox, why would you dislike anagrams?    It's time for some edumacation, folks. For this post, I'll look into anagrams for the rest of the starting nine.  After all, we need catchphrases for them when they take Kauffman Stadium under the glorious '2014 AL Champions' banner, right?  And if you don't like it, I do apologize, but only because you're probably a coldhearted person for whom I feel sorry.

ALEX GORDON

  • Lo Danger Ox
  • Groaned Lox
  • No God Relax
  • Real Ox Dong
  • El Dragon Ox
  • Ax Nerd Logo

Just like Gordon himself, his anagrams are perfect, varied, and awe-inspiring.  Winner: Lo, Danger Ox

LORENZO CAIN

  • Czar Neon Oil
  • Liar Con Zone
  • Oral Icon Zen
  • No Ale Or Zinc
  • Zanier Colon
  • A Zircon Noel
  • On Craze Loin

Who knew Cain's anagrams would be so crazy?  The combination of C, Z, and N leaves some amazing options.  A Zircon Noel would make a great Christmas song. Perfect for your next holiday concert!  Winner: Zanier Colon

MIKE MOUSTAKAS

  • Mistake Oakums
  • Mistake Amok Us
  • A Sam Mute Kiosk
  • A Mouse Mask Kit
  • Aim Soak Musket
  • Meat Oakum Kiss

Well, pretty much nothing, kind of like Moose's production as a hitter.  Winner: Aim Soak Musket

ERIC HOSMER

  • Mr Cheerios
  • Chrome Sire
  • Crime Horse
  • Rice Or Mesh
  • Homer Cries

Crime Horse has gained traction around here for good reason.  However, Mr Cheerios is at least as good.  Still.  Winner: Crime Horse

ALCIDES ESCOBAR

  • Cascade Boilers
  • Accessible Road
  • Aerobics Decals
  • Caloric Seabeds
  • Scarab Disco Eel
  • Biased Coracles
  • Ascribed Solace

Escobar's name is both the perfect length and the perfect combination of common letters.  An anagram beauty.  Winner: Scarab Disco Eel

OMAR INFANTE

  • Arena Of Mint
  • Trainman Foe
  • Fainter Moan
  • Aeon Farm Tin
  • Inane Mat Fro
  • An Inmate Fro

Infante may be aging, but his anagrams aren't.  Winner: Fainter Moan

SALVADOR PEREZ

  • Dear Zap Lovers
  • Razed Overlaps
  • Zero Laps Raved
  • Daze Alp Rovers
  • Zed Laser Vapor

Lots of swings and misses here.  Winner: Zed Laser Vapor

KENDRYS MORALES

  • Smoky Slanderer
  • Dreamy Snorkels
  • Sly Monks Reread
  • Sorry Naked Elms
  • Dankly Remorses
  • Rye Lands Smoker

I'm sorry, but I'm still laughing.  Winner: DREAMY SNORKELS

KRIS MEDLEN

  • Elder Minks
  • Denser Milk
  • Lend Me Risk
  • Elm Ski Nerd
  • Redskin Elm
  • Lender Skim

Nine men play defense, and who better to anagram but the newest Royal, Kris Medlen. Medlen is recovering from his second Tommy John and is owed $8.5 million guaranteed, so Lend Me Risk is perfect. But not perfect enough.  Winner: Elder Minks

***

Who is your favorite anagram'd player? Included is a poll, but if you would rather vote for Mitch Maier, Max Rieper, or any other current or formal Royal as your favorite let us know.