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Photoshops for the coarse and soul-rotten march through baseball Gehenna

... for the fate-riven viscera of your soul.

I was going to go on self-serving rant about small sample sizes -- because, being a Royals fan and all, I struggle when not writing with a fuel source of clean, burnable negativity -- but I'm going to try something else instead.

Which is to say, I'm not going to write much. I'm just going to make some fatuous images and hope they at least turn up a corner of your mouth.

I meant smiling there. See what I mean about negativity?

Anyway, just ... here.

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Yeah, but where'd the water in the hose come from?

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WARNING: If the Royals desperately offer you a chance to bat against a Major League pitcher this season, do so with the proper eye protection if you borrow Billy's bat. (The corporate lawyers made me include that because it actually seems plausible at this point).

Jamesnopants_medium

Whoops!

And now you can add this potential suspension to the guttural groans being belched in unison over the beltway ...

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