Royals Humor, Satire, & Nonsense

Royals photoshops, by request VOTING OPEN

Maybe Dayton is the one who's "prodigal."

By Tyler Drenon May 23, 2014, 12:00pm EDT

The Return of the Prodigal Kottaras, Rembrandt ca. 1669

The first two games of White Sox series were extremely frustrating.

So much so that I daydreamed through much of Wednesday's improved performance ... dogs really just don't have much to worry about, you know?

In honor of the shapeless pain that rings throughout our bodies in unison with the plodding duet of Physioc and Hudler's spoken lethargy requiem, I plan to take suggestions for photoshops from the begrudging readers of this article.

Here are the rules:

• Submit your ideas for the photoshops in the comments section.

• The best 5 ideas will be woven into this digital blanket of ones and zeroes by me, but if you want to make one yourself, please feel free. "Best" will be determined by number of RECs.

• I will post them in the article as they are created with a corresponding number which will appear in the poll below. You can vote for your favorite if you like.

• I'll get started a few hours before the game begins at 9:05pm CST, so have your idea submitted prior to 7:00pm CST.

• I'll do my best. This experiment might be cool or it might be the worst. Let's find out.

• No nudity. If only so I don't have to wade through the better part of the Internet looking for the Goldilocks of junk pics. Remember, kids read this website ... so no invocations of Rule 34.

• It's Friday, so even if you don't have the Pavlovian signal of Garth Brooks' greatest gift to humanity to trigger your urge to consume too much alcohol, I assume each and every one of you is outrageously intoxicated right now.

Ok. That seems like enough to get you started.