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Game XCVIII Open Thread - The Royals of Kansas City versus the Pale Hoes of Chicago

Chris Sale versus Jeremy Guthrie. Exactly the match-up Dayton Moore dreamt up this offseason when he thought about who the Royals should send to the mound to rally the troops.

The enemy?
The enemy?
Scott Rovak-USA TODAY Sports

The sub-.500--#BeRoyal--Kansas City Royals travel to the South Side to face the Pale Hoes. The Chicago Nine will send their ace, the wildly underrated Chris Sale--owner of the fourth-lowest FIP of any pitcher with more than 70 IP, behind just Clayton Kershaw, Felix Hernandez, and Jake Arrieta--to the mound. The southpaw will presumably present the woeful offensive attack of the Royals with countless opportunities to embarrass themselves. Jon Lester is like a slightly less good version of Chris Sale, so things should definitely go well for the Royals tonight.

Why are we still watching?

If the Pale Hoes win this evening, it will pull them to within half a game of the third place--yes, you read that correctly--Royals. It seems like the freefall is sure to continue tonight. And even if the losing streak is snapped tonight or much more probably tomorrow in a match-up designed to get the world to look away.

The Royals will send Jeremy Guthrie to the mound to try to stop the hemorrhaging, which is sort of like putting a Band-Aid® on a gaping chest wound caused by a shotgun blast from four feet away. Let's just hope he brought the right shoes for the job.