That's all. That's the only joke about Colon's physical appearance that will appear in this article. Sorry.
Also apparently, the Royals "could be in play" for Colon, according to the New York Daily News' Andy Martino. The sticking point is, of course, money. The Royals might not be able to add the $14.25 million remaining on Colon's contract -- it runs through the end of next season.
So, in order to get the Mets to eat part of that amount, the Royals might have to make a more substantial offer than they wold have otherwise. But, there's also this:
"Absolutely nothing" doing on Colon trade talks at moment, per source. Chance that changes later in week, but nada at present.— Andy Martino (@MartinoNYDN) July 29, 2014
Colon is 41 years old and he's listed at 5'11" and 285 pounds. That's not a joke. That's just what Baseball Reference says in black and white. Jokes are synonymous with Bartolo Colon, but he's actually a human being. And if you ever stood next to him while he was pitching, your jaw would drop.
Over the last two and-a-half years, he's thrown 484⅓ innings with a 3.25 ERA and a 3.47 FIP. That's better than Jon Lester. Obviously what he's doing right now is more important. This season, he has a 3.88 ERA and a 3.41 FIP. Most of his peripheral stats are similar to his numbers from a year ago -- when he was named an All-Star and finished sixth in the American League in Cy Young balloting.
Where would he fit into the Kansas City rotation? Well, for now he'd fit nicely in the spot vacated by Jason Vargas -- who will return shortly after having an appendectomy on July 9. After Vargas returns, maybe Colon could usurp Jeremy Guthrie's spot in the sequence. Or maybe he'd just give them a deeper rotation.
It all depends on why the Mets want in return. It could potentially be a top ten prospect in the Royals' system, considering the Mets were able to get that kind of return for a half-season of Marlon Byrd last year.
Particulars aside, if the thought of Bartolo Colon pitching for the Royals doesn't bring at least the thought of smiling to mind then you're probably doing it wrong.