Before we get started, Greinke wanted me to pass on this holiday greeting.
He's pretty sleepy--just killed another deer in the backyard--so we'll let him get slip into dormancy for a fortnight.
On this day commemorating the Continental Congress voting to adopt the Declaration of Independence, asserting America's freedom from the tyrannical reign of King George III, we set about getting black-out drunk--more often than while afloat on water--and making pretty explosions while coming perilously close to losing appendages. It's what our Founding Fathers would have wanted.
Before you drink yourself into oblivion for
Jesus an Irish snake charmer America, you've got some questions to answer:
1. Richard Ford's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel Independence Day, while maybe not as resplendent as its predecessor The Sportswriter, is set on Fourth of July weekend and follows Frank Bascombe as he takes his son to the Baseball Hall of Fame. In a fit, Paul steps into the express speed batting cage and intentionally takes a ball to the face, damaging his eye. What's the dumbest thing you've done in the pursuit of sport and recreation?
2. Each novel in the Bascombe trilogy was set on a holiday weekend. What is your favorite book or film set on a holiday weekend?
3. Keeping with the theme, Elliott Smith penned the tune "Independence Day" for his major-label debut, XO. A few years later, he was found dead after an argument with his girlfriend. With defensive wounds on his forearms and a knife in his heart, LAPD ruled his death a suicide. For you, what is the most infuriating instance of someone ignoring contradictory evidence and coming to a conclusion that fits their prerogative?
4. If you could bring one person that you did not know personally back to life who has died since 1990, who would it be?
5. While we celebrate America, it is probably best to think about just how much of it we've seen. How many states have you been to? What is the one place in the U.S. that you haven't been to but are dying to visit?
Boner #1: Thomas Jefferson or James Madison?
Boner #2: John Adams or Alexander Hamilton?