Thursday Off Day Thread: Querying the Readership

So, here's a thing. The Royals are still one game ahead of Detroit in the division standings, and the Royals have the abysmal Texas Rangers coming up, who have used more pitchers than a college bar in a college town on a college football Saturday. The Tigers, on the other hand, are dueling the Rays. I like these happenings.

Sadly, there will be no baseball played today by the Royals. Also, sadly, Salvador Perez's knee is not 100%. They say that nothing is ever 100% this late into the season, but you still play. However, Salvy played, then didn't play, and then got an MRI. I don't know what his knee health percentage is, but it's apparently all over the place. Just give him a health potion, and we'll all be fine. Let's just hope for a non-Garrett Richards fate.

I have some questions for you. I assume you have answers.

1) I've long contended that the harp produces the most beautiful instrumental sounds, even though I played the flute. If you could instantly, magically become a master of one *musical* instrument, what would it be?

2) I'm working on some data visualization, and I'm constantly running into an annoying "cannot mix aggregate and non-aggregate fields with this function" error. It could be user error, i.e., me, causing the issue. It could also be a limitation of the program, in which case I seriously question the usefulness of the program. Has there ever been a thing you were trying to do, failed constantly at, and blamed someone/something else, only to find out later that you were the problem the whole time?

3) My wife makes totally awesome guacamole. I make totally awesome...water...from the sink. Also grilled cheese. Do you have a specialty food/dish that you make?

BONUS:

1) Red Hot Chili Peppers or Infected Mushroom(s)?

2) Alexander Hamilton or Alexander the Great?