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GENTLEMEN, FILL ME WITH BARBECUE SAUCE BECAUSE FOOTBALL IS HAPPENING TONIGHT!
Despite our perceptions, there are statistics in existence that say the Royals are winning baseball games. In fact, of their 112 games, they have won 59 of them. That's more than 50%. I have no idea how this is happening. Something must have gotten into my dome, but I think it's time to launch an investigation. I appoint myself as the leader of the investigation, and my first act of business is to ignore the investigation.
The Royals finish up the series with the Diamondbacks tonight with a chance to go all 15th century Britain and chimney sweep the crap out of the slithery, spineless snakes of the southwest. Mike Moustakas has been the primary sweeper with like 17 home runs in the two games so far, so look for Moose hanging some serious dong against Vidal Nuno.
The starting pitchers are Vidal Nuno for the Dbacks and Jeremy Guthrie for the Royals. Guthrie is chugging along with an ERA that's just about equal to his xFIP, and it still isn't good. Nuno, bless him, had to go from the Yankees to the Diamondbacks this season in a trade. Nuno was bad with the Yankees, but he's been good in his 5 starts with the Dbacks. He's running a Duffy-esque .226 BABIP as a member of the Diamondbacks, though. This Royals team is just the team to spank that BABIP up to normal levels.
Let's see some more homers, guys. Your lineups for the evening....are remarkably similar to last night's. Probably. Here's a projection.
Diamondbacks
1-Black Mamba
2-Sidewinder
3-Cottonmouth
4-Copperhead
5-California Mountain Snake
Manager-Snake Charmer
Royals
1-Duke
2-Prince
3-Count
4-Viscount
5-Lord(e)
Manager-Frank
Don't even worry about the rest of the players. I'm just all over the place today.