The grittiest possible Hall of Fame ballot

On Tuesday, the Hall of Fame results for 2015 were released, with Randy Johnson, Pedro Martinez, John Smoltz, and Craig Biggio elected into Cooperstown. This marks the first time since 1963 that the BBWAA has voted in four players in one class. 549 official ballots were reviewed, but in a controversial move, one ballot was excluded!

Here at Royals Review we always look to bring you the most exclusive content and news that we can. We were the first to obtain MITCH's letters home from camp and always the front line to keep you in touch with Luis Mendoza's #mane. Today, we bring you another exclusive event. We have obtained that excluded ballot. A ballot that belongs to a member of the local Kansas City writing community and the KC Panini Lovers Club. The "Empresario of Polk Points." The man with the golden quill and the silver crayon.

If you believe in the Yin/Yang of this cruel world, you might note the duality of controversy here. First, this is America (at least for the time being) and despite what Fox News may tell you, it's considered a democracy. One where each person who qualifies to vote can have his/her vote cast and counted (except in Florida circa 2000). Tuesday marked a day that will certainly live in infamy along the lines of Pearl Harbor, the Pets.com IPO, and Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2. The BBWAA decided to not allow a ballot and votes to be counted, instead deciding to toss the ballot directly into the nearest trash can.

I mentioned duality and the other side of this coin is that the BBWAA was right in deciding to discard the mentioned ballot. Immediately upon looking at it they first thought it was some alien mini-monolith. Here the ballot collectors were expecting to count votes towards the 2015 MLB Hall of Fame, but instead they received something that could have been misconstrued as one of those letters that kids write to Santa asking for a pet rock or for their sister to be killed. They were in their right mind to cast away this cursed ballot.

Not only did the voter not cast his votes for anyone actually named on the ballot, but he cast his votes for players who aren't necessarily even eligible for the Hall of Fame this year. The BBWAA is deciding about pursuing criminal and civil actions meanwhile those players that the voter did vote for might be seeking compensatory damages and delict claims. Many of these players have fled the country and are seeking asylum in countries such as North Korea, Somalia, and even Equatorial Kundu.

We reached out for comment from the voter, but we were unable to reach him. In his stead, his secretary passed along a verbal statement.

"name redacted stands behind his ballot. He knew exactly what he was voting for. He thinks that who he voted for is deserving of the great honor of being inducted into this prestigious hall of great award winners and historic individuals. He has a long tradition of voting and it is something he looks forward to every year. Ever since he was a young child he was casting his ballot for this. As a boy he would gather all the candidates by hand and stay up late at nights pulling his hair over his choices. Many names he has left off in agony and many names he's included in ecstasy. His mother has shoe-boxes full of his old ballots. Now that he's an older and more tenured writer, his process has changed. When it comes time to vote he now goes over to his neighbors Academy Award party and brings his ballot for each award. From Best Actor to Best Film Score, all the way down to Best Documentary Short Sub...oh...wai...wait a second...what are we talking about here?"

Now for the moment you've been waiting for, here is his ballot. Consider these players...judged.