If one thing has been made perfectly clear these past few weeks, it is that Royals fans are better at checking boxes on the internet than everyone else. Everyone. A World Series run that saw the Royals take their place as America's sweethearts energized a desperate fanbase, and those rejuvenated fans paid the Royals back in kind with what presumptively looks like a round of bonuses for making the All-Star team to possibly every position player in the starting lineup.
Some of those starters have a strong case for making the American League All-Star team. Others' cases are weaker. Then there are the two players who much of the fanbase would prefer be replaced in the starting lineup.
When the first round of vote tallies came out for the approaching All-Star Game in Cincinnati, there was a vocal displeasure amongst the stodgy, self-appointed guardians of the game in the mainstream media when Salvador Perez, Alcides Escobar, Mike Moustakas, Lorenzo Cain, and Alex Gordon all looked likely to be starting in the All-Star Game.
In subsequent counts, Eric Hosmer, Kendrys Morales, and now Omar Infante have passed previous positional leaders Miguel Cabrera, Nelson Cruz, and Jose Altuve, as Royals fans have rallied around the team for whom they root and against the increasingly shrill and histrionic naysayers.
The delicious unanimity with which Royals fans and sympathizers have extended a triumphant middle finger toward the whining but ineffectual masses is hard not to admire. The defiant eye-poke foisted upon the whingeing boobs who spend every minute of their conscious being looking frantically for the next thing about which they can muster up a disingenuously toxic dose of righteous indignation is one of the most resounding community troll jobs in recent memory.
The only problem with the voting of the Royals fans so far is that only 14 of the 15 teams in the American League are being trolled. Royals fans inarguably love the Royals. With that love comes the desire to see the Royals win. If given the choice, what Royals fan wants to see Omar Infante or Alex Rios in the Royals' lineup right now?
If Royals fans want to flex their muscles even more impressively, they should vote the daily lineup they want into the All-Star Game. Don't vote for that thick-necked sub-slinger or the diminutive second baseman in Houston into the game. That would be terrible.
But for as long as Ned Yost continues to scrawl Omar Infante's name across the lineup card while his performance recalls nightmarish campaigns from players like Angel Berroa, Neifi Perez, and Tony Pena, Jr., shouldn't Royals fans voice their displeasure by casting their votes for Christian Colon as a write-in candidate?
And is anyone glad to see Alex Rios bumbling around the outfield and flailing away miserably at the plate? Sure, Paulo Orlando was a nice story, but he had a good week or two before falling back to earth. Some of the most exciting moments of the past few seasons have come from the Royals' fourth outfielder, Jarrod Dyson. Wouldn't it be a lot cooler to see Dyson--who we have all loved for years--doing flips in the outfield?
More importantly, couldn't Christian Colon and Jarrod Dyson use an All-Star bonus more than Omar Infante and Alex Rios? Let's get Colon and Dyson an extra $50K or so. If we Royals fans really want to show our might, let's see the team WE want to see on the field every day. Give them our love while trolling every team in the American League.
Even better, wouldn't it be great to do as Max suggested in jest yesterday on Twitter?
We should totally vote for Omar Infante. https://t.co/pf6diy7q82— Royals Review (@royalsreview) June 16, 2015
So Royals fans, keep voting with as many fake email addresses as you can imagine. Vote only for Royals, but write in Christian Colon and Jarrod Dyson. And while you're at it, #VoteOmarForTheAAAAllStarGame.
It's good to have goals. Let's troll EVERYONE.