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Royals pillage Pirates five times to one

I bet no one has EVER used pirate jokes in headlines.

Ed Zurga/Getty Images

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Edinson Volquez left pitches over the plate....went 7.2 innings and struck out eight guys anyway....

A walk, a double, and a sac fly allowed a Pirates run to score...

Ah. Here we go. This is the item for which I was searching.

Eric Hosmer, in the bottom of the fourth, took a pitch and hit a dinger. He hit a dinger really far. Fans in the Budweiser Bar probably took the time to look up from their 25oz beers to see what was going on, but it's not like they could see it through beer goggles.

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Yes. This is the next thing for which I was searching. The bottom of the seventh. I found it because the giant SALVADOR PEREZ WALK ALERT floating around this particular inning was...noticeable.

Perez led off by taking a walk. Perez took a base on balls. Unfortunately, Omar Infante "ground bunted" into a forceout play, so Perez got out at second. If the guy who walks gets forced out the next play, does the walk even matter? I don't know. Infante went first to third on a single by Alex Rios. That's when this happened.

After a challenge, the call on the field (that Infante was safe) stood. With Rios on second and Jarrod Dyson on first, Mike Moustakas hung dong on a 3-0 count. That pitch was almost certainly ball four, but I prefer a ball over the fence instead. Very quickly, the score was 5-1 Royals.

After Volquez gave up singles to Andrew McCutchen and Starling Marte, Ned Yost put in Wade Davis to get one out. Again. He got the out. Ryan Madson finished off the ninth without incident. The Royals took two games off a very good Pirates team, including taking a game from Gerrit Cole. Good stuff. Good. Stuff.